Let the gift giving begin!

Bea and I exchanged gifts tonight. Mainly because she kept asking if we could which got me more and more excited. I've been talking lately about how I want to start collecting cups and saucers. I don't want them to match. I want them to be from all over. Goodwill, thrift stores, Ross, Anthropology :), Estate sales. I just love the idea of having so many dainty cups and saucers and throwing tea parties. Baby showers, wedding showers, birthdays... anything. So Bea got me all of these ADORABLE ones pictured below with a tea towel. Let the collecting begin! Thanks Bea, you're a great gift giver! This makes me even more excited for Christmas. I love getting and giving! One day I will have everyone over for tea and I will have Sharon make the amazing chocolate chip, orange scones she made for Elevate this morning. YUM

Songs about rain..

Rainy night in Georgia, Kentucky rain. Here comes that rainy day feeling again.

Another rainy day in San Diego. Unfortunately it has taken a toll on my mood. Silly? Of course. Marie Crowe. I need you :) Still lacking that source of wisdom, Godly guidance and encouragement out here. Sometimes I just get down and need some stern words like, "Get off your butt, Maggie" or "Cry right now because when you get done the pity party is over" but you see, those words can only come from people who love and support me. Those words out of anyone else's mouths could cause war. On a serious note, I think I'll go spend more time with Jesus. That is probably the best thing to do.

On a happy note. (no, i'm not bipolar. i'm just a being a girl today) I am so excited for Christmas. Jackson and I made a counter for Christmas the other day. You know, the kind made out of construction paper that looks like a chain. So everyday the two of us take one more ring off and then count the days. He's excited about Christmas while in my head I'm shaving off two extra days from the chain because that's the day I land in Birmingham, Alabama. I'm so excited I could call my mom everyday. Wait, I think I already call her everyday. You get the point. I get to see all 3 of my nephews plus Rhett. We're gonna look at Christmas lights. We're gonna cook. We're gonna open presents. I'm going to church at Midway one Sunday and the next I'll be at church with my parents. We're gonna play cards and laugh and someone will probably pee their pants. We will have so much fun and I cannot wait. Merry merry Christmas! 12 days!!!

Family.

Not perfect but MINE.

They all drove to Douglasville to eat Cracker Barrel with me while I was in town. It was short and pretty hectic but worth it.

Dad, Mom and their baby

Paw-Paw, his favorite grandgirl, Mrs. Palmer

I am also my Maw-Maw's favorite.

Cade and Taylor.

I can't describe to you how much I love these 2.

And Paigey.

Mom calls us "twins 10 years apart".

If you aren't inspired by her you probably have medical issues.

*Unfortunately Rowan wasn't feeling his best that day(pre-reflux diagnosis)... so no good photos of me, him, Hollie or Alan. I love them though. Can't wait to snuggle with that boy when I get home!

Home is where your heart is...

We saw The Christmas Carol in 3D. So thankful for a best friend and not just any best friend. The best friend for over a decade. The best friend who still likes me even when I'm totally ridiculous. I find it amazing that through all the years she still thinks I'm an okay person. I had a great weekend in Douglasville. Exclusive time with Brittany was great. Just being at the Bell Motel with the family was delightful. So glad Adam and Brittany flew me home to meet that little man.

This is Rhett. He is precious. Very sweet and so lovable. I hear from his mother that he is growing like a weed. Can't wait to see him again at Christmas. Happy first Christmastime, Rhett!

Elle and Vi

Their real names are Elizabeth Grace and Viola Kay. I love them. Really. A lot. On Friday at nap time I read them a "Baby's First Bible" book. When we got to the page where Jesus was born they started singing Happy Birthday to Baby Jesus. I did not teach them that. That isn't even the best part!! I laid Vi down first and told her to "have a good sleep" and she responded loudly saying, "BYE!" and then I laid Elle down and told her to "have a good sleep" and then I heard her say the sweetest thing EVER. She said, "Night night baby Jesus." I told all my friends (like they cared) and now I'm telling you (like you care)? Merry Christmastime!

He's Got the Whole World...

IN HIS HANDS.

The Grand Canyon was grand. I am not even going to try and attempt describing it. It's just one of those things you MUST see for yourself. I have posted a few pictures but still, they do no justice.

We hiked the Kaibab Trail. I'm not sure how to spell the K word. It took us about 40 minutes on the way down and a little longer on the way up. I had a little cold on our road trip but I actually felt much better after hiking. I love being outside so much.

On the trip from Flagstaff to the Grand Canyon I was really hoping to get a glimpse of an elk roaming around in it's natural habitat. I didn't. I did see a huge dead something. Tyler and I think it was a buffalo. It was crazy. All huge on the side of the road.

After the GC we roughed it and drove home instead of paying for another night at a hotel, unloading all our junk just to reload it in the morning. We got home late last night. I should say that Tyler roughed it. He drove most of the way. It is nice to be home. It rained in San Diego today. A little hail too. All I did today was a lot of laying around. I've watched 3 movies and an episode of Grey's. It is cold and rainy. I love it.

I have a lot to post about...

I still need to tell about my weekend in GA but we'll save that for later.

I am blogging from Flagstaff, Arizona. It is a great place. If it weren't so cold I might like to live here. Actually, I'd really like to live here if the weather were better. The low tonight is supposed to be 15 degrees. During the day today it was upper 50s. Quite nice. We had our delicious Thanksgiving meal with my friend, Trevor's, family and after we played a mean game of frisbee golf. I am terrible at frolfing. Did you know that Pluto was discovered in Flagstaff? Maybe I should say discovered from Flagstaff. I love that fact. We stopped in Seligman to fuel up and that town is where the historic route 66 began.

My brain is overloaded right now. So many new places and amazing things. One reoccurring thought is- I am so glad I get to see these places, I am so thankful to travel and see my country. It is true. We also drove over the Hoover Dam today. Simply incredible.

While in Vegas much fun was had. We saw many great places and so much more. This stuck out to me though..... We watched the fountain show in front of the Bellagio. We also went to Old Vegas and they had a show on the ceiling. A very large, outdoor ceiling. At the fountain show and Old Vegas I enjoyed watching people watch the attraction. When it started everyone stopped talking, focused their attention on the same thing and their facial expressions were priceless. Now, I don't wanna get all lame and churchy on you but I repeatedly kept thinking about what it will be like when the clouds roll back like a scroll, the trump sounds and the Lord descends. The whole world won't stop talking or focus their attention on what is taking place. Every knee will bow and the whole world will know that He is Lord. Wow. Vegas is a gorgeous city. Clean, bright and so detailed. It is Candyland for adults. Although it was clean and bright, I felt so heavy for that place. It could be called the porn capitol, which makes me angry. So much gambling, alcohol and SO MUCH smoking. Yuck. I have a friend that moved to Vegas to churchplant and that was a great move, in my opinion.

The Johnson family is a great family. My friend Trevor is the oldest and he has two younger sisters. Ellenor, Bea, Tyler and I were not their only guests this Thanksgiving. There were four others! Would you believe they took all of us in, fed us and we're sleeping here tonight? I want to be these kind of people. I want my doors to always be open and I want to feed whoever is hungry. God bless the Johnson family and the great dog, Zoe.

Tomorrow we're off to the Grand Canyon for some hiking and gazing. I'm sure I will be speechless.

I leave you with a few pictures from Vegas. The boy below is Tyler and these photos are from his camera.

Ellenor, supercoolman, me and Bea

The Bellagio

Fountain Extravaganza

Bright Lights

My Super Smart Boy.

Jackson

I went to see Jackson and the Green Dragons in action. He plays soccer in Alpine and this Saturday is his last game. He loves soccer and his dad is one of the coaches. All those little boys running around was quite the sight to see.

Cute things about Jackson:

• He calls me "Mag" and he's never heard anyone call me that before. He totally nicknamed me by himself.
• He calls Janie "Jane". He is also the only one who calls her that.
• He does not let me call him "Jack". "My name is Jackson." :)
• He has had a bad cough for the last couple of days and yesterday he had a coughing attack that led to his snack coming back up. As he was throwing up into the pot I was holding he asked, "Who is gonna rub my back?" So cute. I assured him that I would. That is how I know I truly love him because I do not do throw up. The sound, the smell and the sight makes me vom but for this little boy I hold it all together, rub his back and clean it up.
• When I don't let him do something or have something he tells me, " I am angry at you!" Come to find out, they have been learning about emotions at school lately. Way to express your feels little buddy.
• When we are in the bathroom washing our hands he always looks at the two of us in the mirror, lays his head up against my shoulder and says, "Mag, I love you." To which I reply, "Jackson, I love you too."
• We are night and day. His blonde blonde hair, my dark black hair. His fair skin and my tan skin (during the summer). His blue blue eyes and my hazel, brown/green eyes.

Tis the Season...

TO KNIT!!!

After months of "knitting" I finally have something to show for it! My first scarf. Hooray. It is real cute... just don't look close :) I am half way through with my second scarf! It really is the season to knit. The sun sets at 5 now and it's dark by 6! Ridiculous? Yes. However, sometimes it is a little chilly and dark outside which really sets the mood for some hardcore knit sessions.

It is also the season for Christmas music. Too early? NO WAY! I bought Faith Hill's Christmas CD earlier this week because it was on sale for 11 bucks. Love it. Haven't popped it out of my car yet! What a classy lady. You see, I'll be spending Thanksgiving in the Grand Canyon. So, this turkey day there will be no tradition... making it totally okay for me to pump up the Christmas jams now. Although there will be no tradition this Thanksgiving and I will miss my family in Alabackie... I AM SO THRILLED about this trip. I have been wanting to hike the humongous canyon for quite some time now. So far there are 4 of us that are definitely going.... Bea, me, Ellenor and Tyler(the funny boy we love).

I have another fun trip coming up in January too. San Fran baby! Bea and I are going to explore and make new friends. Thank you southwest for always having sales and making it possible for me to see the west coast and get out of southern California.

Well, our friend Michelle just got here and I can no longer think of what I need to fill the east coast in on.. so holla!

Hip Hip

Hooray!

James Rhett Hanes is here!

So proud of the best friend.

Can't wait to hold that baby!

Congrats Brittany and Adam!!

Knock out.

So, I was thinking today....

About Lost. Yes, I am addicted to the terribly dramatic show. I could never even begin to count how many times someone has gotten knocked out on Lost. I was thinking this because sometimes I just want to knock someone out for a few minutes and I don't really know why? Other times, I'd like to be knocked out temporarily. Fun right? Well, truth is.... it is so TV. Think about it.... What if you hit someone too hard? What if they didn't wake up moments later? What if you caused brain damage? What if you killed them? Pretty much... I'm not sure how any characters on Lost are still alive and functioning. That's all. The end.

Rainy...

Nope. Not here. Overcast though. It feels like a rainy day today. My heart is kinda heavy for some unknown reason. Can't stand it when that happens.

Worked overnight this weekend. It was fun, the kids loved it. I think they thought it was special that I was sleeping at their house.

My best friend, Brittany Bell Hanes (as I call her), went to the doctor today. Things are happening and that baby will be here soon! Very excited to meet Rhett. I just know he will be a doll. Adam (her husband) and I predicted that he would come on Oct. 16th (this Friday). It's lookin like we may be right?! Hooray. Brittany is so sweet, she is flying me home for a weekend in November to spend with her and Rhett. I am very excited to have some Maggie/Brittany and now Rhett time.

Pastor Todd and his wife Lisa (from my church in Carrollton: Midway) were in town this past weekend and it was so wonderful having them. One thing I love about Todd is that he will shoot it to me straight but is such an encouragement at the same time. Hearing him talk about change and leadership and exciting things to come put a new little jump in my step. So glad to be here in San Diego and a part of what God is doing. Wednesday their oldest daughter and my friend, Hannah is coming to stay with us. So pumped to have her here and hang out!

I was thinking today about how we should be grateful for the people in our lives that God has richly blessed us with. Don't take any friendships or relationships for granted. Life is too short and God has called us to love. Love, like lay down your life for your friends... love. Tame our tongues and be careful. Encourage, build up.....We're not promised tomorrow and it would be devastating for a loved one to get up and walk out. Cherish, compliment, respect and hold tightly to the ones God has given you. Ok, enough :)

I'm very pumped for Christmas this year. Almost ready to bust out the Christmas music!! This year will be Rowan and Rhett's first Christmas. I will also be home for my bfffff's 22nd birthday. Cozy, warm clothes, family, hot chocolate....mmm yes. Thank you God for the best gift of all... baby Jesus and salvation.

Love Love Love

Crazy Janie...

A few weeks ago Bea bought some cheap passies. We used them in a video for her nephew and encouraged him to get rid of his passies and be a big boy. A few nights later I heard Janie in the living room chewing on something. This is never good. I walked in there and found her like this! She just kept posing. Bea and I were laughing so hard. Janie has been acting crazy lately and doing humorous things. Maybe it's the change in season.

Wonderful Two's

Elle sporting the red head band

Jackson sporting the blue. I told him he should wear that for his soccer game. He agreed!

On their birthday heading to the park. They rode silently, like this the whole way.

Vi with the sunglasses, tiara and headbands I gave them for their birthday.

Elle used the gift bag as her purse. They wore their glasses and tiaras all day. No joke.

I think the girls had a pretty good birthday and I really enjoyed watching them prance around. Elle and I have a special bond that I love. She throws major fits for Holly and Tim and is as difficult as she can be. With me though, it's another story. We communicate really well and compromise. She knows that I mean business but that I have her best interest in mind. Don't get me wrong sometimes she throws a fit for me but it's not enough to complain about. You probably think that I am crazy for thinking this about a 2 year old but seriously, these kids are so smart. They understand it all. Vi is so laid back and funny. She can entertain a herself easily and looks at her sister likes she's crazy when she throws her fits. Jackson is turning into a really good big brother and a good soccer player. I hope he scores a goal this weekend. He wants to so bad! Love love these kids :)

Chinese

This weekend I was downtown

on a street corner

waiting to cross the street

when a guy

with his ipod shuffle playing

and earbuds in

walked up

and started dancing

on this oriental woman.

She was very uncomfortable.

That didn't bother him

he kept dancing his heart out.

At first

I didn't want to laugh

for fear

that he might dance on me for laughing.

Then

I didn't care anymore

and I laughed

hard.

He then told me, "I know her. She's Chinese."

I laughed harder.

They did not know each other.

She crossed the street

on the orange hand

just to get away from him.

Hilarious.

I can see my future.

It involves me

dancing on random people

while Bea videos it.

I wish I would've got that guy and the Chinese lady on video. You would laugh.

Oh yeah and Happy Birthday little Sadie Jane! Congrats Coach Harper, Stephanie and Micah!

Bon Voyage

Well, our sailor left us. He is officially out to sea. Isaac is our brother. (Our= mine, Janie and Bea's). Isaac is my age and has been stationed in SD for about 3 years. I met him for the first time at Phil's Bar-b-q. I knew I loved him then. He is always with us. Always at our house. Isaac is 21 but often times acts like a child, always asking,"What are we doing? Let's go somewhere. No, don't take a nap." He is married to a very special girl that goes by Bridg. I say she is special because she said "I do" to keeping him entertained for eternity :) Sometimes Isaac can wear us out with his constant on-the-go, let's go do something and never take a rest personality. One thing is for sure however, we love him. He's only been gone since Wednesday but it already feels strange with out him blowing up our phones and coming over every night. Thank you Isaac for serving our country and doing your "time" in the Navy. Freedom doesn't come free :) I can't forget to mention how much Janie loves him too. She is a magnet to him when he walks in the door and when he leaves she sits at the door and watches him leave on his motorcycle. Then she paws at the door and cries. She doesn't even do that when I leave her......

Isaac sporting the candy corn hat in the dollar spot.

So the video is kinda long and pointless. However, this is a very typical scene for the two of them and Janie usually will make this funny noise but of course she wouldn't do it while I was taping. She loves him.

Hippie Sheets

These are my hippie sheets that I dyed a few weeks ago. Isaac said they remind him of thunderstorms. I like to think that too since we don't have thunderstorms or rain here. I'm aware that they are a little on the tacky side.... just keep in mind that... 1) I've always wanted to be a hippie and often wish I could have been a teenager in that era 2) I'm 21 in San Diego and this is my chance to be crazy because when you get married you have to be all grown and stuff 3) I love purple

My Girls.

Elle and Vi Ross. Turn 2 on Friday. These girls just make my day. Jackson has started kindergarten so it's just me and the girls during the day. Honestly, we like it that way. We have a routine and you wouldn't believe how well they communicate. We sing Pharaoh, Pharaoh, Zachheus, Hey Burrito, and so many more songs. We dance. We feed and pet horses. And so much more. Happy Birthday Girls! I love you.

Vi layin one on me :)

Sweet Sisters.

Just about every morning we load up the bob and I do a little 2.5 mile walk around the neighborhood. We see horses, quail, lizards and even a bobcat once.

Elle

Elle and Vi

When these girls say my name, my heart swells. Especially when they wake up from their naps and call for me in the monitor. I can't imagine how much I might love my own kids because I really do love these girls.

You had the chance.

"You had the choice to live, nothing happened to you, no car accident, no terminal illness and you chose to end it." I heard those words today and they won't leave me. Still so numb to death. About the third year of this numbness. So confused. During times like this it is hard to be so far away. Christopher Ta-todd. Jumping out of his mother's moving mini van on camera. Favorite favorite memory of so many. Tonight I ask Jesus to carry Debbie and Courtney through this. It's hard to see people you grew up with go through this. Chris Todd, you're loved and will be missed.

Pictures.

Pictures are cool. I, am not. I hardly ever take pictures anymore and pictures from yesterday would be awesome for this post but oh well. Use your imagination as I describe.

Yesterday I went kayaking. I have kayaked once before in Flarda. Yes, Flarda. I loved it!! Kandis Wilson and I tore up that ocean. My second outing was a blast as well. We kayaked in La Jolla. We rowed out at La Jolla shores, rowed to seal beach and back. I saw orange fish, white fish and leopard sharks. August is when the leopard sharks breed so they were still pretty active. We also saw seals too. Big ones and baby ones. They were barking and everything. So neato! My bff, Isaac, kept trying to tip me over (which I was NOT happy about at all). That's Isaac though, and I love him anyway. He leaves us the 18th for 9 months in the middle east. Stupid navy. Then again, I do love my American freedom so... thank you Isaac Loveland. Then last night we went to this party and I had my kind of fun for the first time here I think. The people were normal. I was lovin it. Hopefully we'll be seeing more of the people we met last night in the future. I tried to tight rope last night and it was so hard!! I ate the grass one time and had everyone laughing for a good 5 minutes. Wish we would've got it on video. I'd be famous on youtube. Our friend Tyler invited us and I think he's the funniest person I've ever met and I told Bea that I want him to follow me around and narrate my life for me so that I can always laugh.

Today I reflect on yesterday's events and feel so content. So glad to be 21 in San Diego, exploring God's big earth, meeting so many different people and going to bed happy. I will end this glorious four day tomorrow with surfing in Encinitas. I might die. I might not ever make it out but I'm all about trying new things....... so............ we'll see how it goes :)

Oh yeah and Joy, I've been meaning to tell you that I missed you. Don't ever leave me again.

Love,

Maggie

Fairytales...

Retarded. Yep. Since the age of about 15 or 16 I have believed with all of my heart that fairytales are lies from satan and Walt Disney.

So now I'm getting older and more hopeful. BUT I'm still not banking on that lovey dovey gushy stuff HOWEVER........

All I really want is a Cliff and Claire Huxtable kind of love. If you don't already know I have a huge obsession with Bill Cosby. I love The Cosby Show! So much so that Bea has bought me Season 7 and Season 8 of the Cosby Show.

Cliff and Claire are just great. Cliff is so hilarious you just have to love him and Claire always plays along. Also, have you watched Dr. Huxtable teach his kids a lesson? The man is SMART. I don't really have the words to describe why it is that I love this man and his show so much but it's pretty intense.

Don't worry, I know that it is just a TV show but a girl can dream right? While every other girl in America is dreaming about The Notebook I'll be happy hoping for a Dr. Huxtable :)

Bill Cosby for President 2012!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bad Eyeballs.

Wearing my last pair of contacts now. Left contact has a chunk missing. Feels like there is something in my eye. I have known for a while that this was my last pair but I've been putting off an exam because who really wants to spend money on an eye exam and contacts? I knew it would take a chunk missing to make me get an appt. So, I made an appointment today for tomorrow at 4:30.

You're asking yourself,"Does she really think that I care?"

I know you don't BUT this is where the story gets good. I didn't go to the eye doctor a long time ago when I should have because I didn't want to pay whether or not I could afford it. Rewind to Friday. I get a big envelope in the mail from Julie at Southern Drywall with a bunch of mail that had been stacking up in the office. She added a note that said she thought I might need it. Well, she thought right. Smart woman. In the stack of mail there was a new HSA debit card for me. Which is for my health savings account. I didn't even think I had money left in there but when I called today to check my balance today the customer service rep informed me of my balance and my jaw hit the floor. Not only can I use my HSA to pay for the eye doctor tomorrow but I can get glasses if I want and go to the dentist for the next few years.

See, I've been a big mess for a long year and I'm starting to come back around and it feels so good. Even when I'm a mess Jesus loves me. He doesn't give up on me, leave me or talk negatively of me. He loves me and provides for me. Even in the small things like a chunk missing out of my contact. So glad I know him, so glad I'm his. Love is real.

Back in the swinggggg

Back in San Diego. I really did miss this weather and the cool, crisp air. Had $1 shrimp tacos tonight (another glorious thing about SD- taco tuesdays)!

It was so so so so good to be home. I feel like it was everything I needed it to be and much more. I feel so refreshed and renewed. Being around people that really know me and really love me helped me remember who I really am and who I want to be.

Surprisingly I'm doing alright considering I left the south a few days ago. I feel pretty content. I think good things are coming and I'm excited to see what that will look like.

My nephews started school yesterday. Taylor is in 6th grade!! INSANE! Cade already got in trouble. It's only the second day. Haha. That boy is so crazy. I love them so much it's ridiculous.

Elle (one of my twins) started calling me by name and it is the cutest thing EVER and Jackson calls me Mag now which, I think is adorable because he's never heard anyone else nickname me meaning he totally came up with it himself.

The end. bye

BFE

Loved:
-Swimmin with the nephews
-Time with my Paw-Paw
- Breakfast at Maw-Maw's
-Mean game of scrabble with the family
-My mama.....
-Middle of the night..... Ranburne......sweet time

Douglasville

Favorites:
-Beulah Elem. playground with Steven Hunter, Luke and Brittany. Hilarious! "I don't wanna go to math! I don't wanna go to math!" -Luke
-Sunday night. The whole crew from the Bell Motel ended up on the front steps talking and laughing til past dark. That's what I love and that is where I feel at home.
- Got to talk to an old mentor. Much needed wisdom, encouragement and prayer.

Tuesday to Friday Morning

So I spent Monday night - Friday morning at my sister and bro-in-law's house in Warner Robins. Rowan is so precious. During those days all we did was lay around, change diapers, hold Rowan and chat. It was really great. I haven't been that lazy in over a year. I enjoyed it but was def ready to get moving after a few days. Rowan is so sweet. I know that newborns are ugly. However, my sisters had beautiful babies from the start! Hollie and Alan are so in love with that baby. I can't fathom how it must feel to have one of your own. For years and years I have taken care of other people's kids and loved them but I know it probably doesn't even compare. I admit I was bored at times when Hollie was hogging Rowan but even in those times I was constantly reminding myself to just enjoy the moment. Hollie, Alan and Rowan are coming to Alabama this weekend but after that I probably won't get to see him again until Christmas. Talk about heart break...... so sad. On Thursday night we ate dinner at Cheddar's. Rowan's first out to eat trip! He did great and slept the whole time. Hollie is such a great mom. She is way more chill than I thought she would be. It is amazing. I am not surprised at all at the kind of dad Alan is. He is so wonderful. He treats Hollie so great and that baby is no different. He can't stand to be at work and away from that baby, he asks so many questions making sure Rowan has the best. So sweet. I really really hope that one day I can find a boy like Alan to marry me :)

Sunday to Monday...

So Sunday at my parents' church, Mt. Zion, the message was just for me. I'm being so serious. It sounds so religious and corny but it's true. It was about Elijah. Nothing in me wanted to listen. I was going to pull a book out to read, I was going to send texts to the west coast, I was going to make a list of things for the children's ministry at Elevate. However, for some reason I kept making myself pay attention even though it was tough. I'm so thankful I did. I've been such a big mess for a long time now so I'm meeting with an old mentor while I'm in town and I cannot wait to discuss Elijah with her. Thank you Mama Beck. After church I ate "real" mexican with the parentals. White cheese dip alone satisfied me. Sunday afternoon I went to my oldest sister's house and swam with the boys all day. We played all kinds of games. Later, mom brought dinner over and we all ate outside. That night I slept with Cade. Oh my goodness, that child slept right up on me all night.

Monday morning I woke up and got ready to head to GA. Stopped at Paw-Paw's in Oxford and had fried okra, fried zucchini, tomato, and peas. I'm going to be so fat when I get back to Cali, yikes! Then off to Douglasville for a pit stop at Dunkin Donuts to see Brittany and Jessica Vickers Edenfield. Then finally off to Warner Robins. Got here a little before 6. Walked in the door, washed my hands and grabbed Rowan. My bro-in-law and sister laughed and said,"Well hey, no hug or hello for us I guess." I was so pumped to see Rowan. He is more than I ever dreamed of. Perfect skin, long hair, so sweet. Hollie, Rowan and I took a short walk and the weather felt just like the beach :) I'm so glad to be "home". The smells, the noises, the family, the love, the friendships. Before I moved away I knew that I was blessed but now I really really know how blessed I am. I realize that not everyone is super close with their family like I am with mine. I realize that other people don't have friendships like I do. It is wonderful to be here and feels almost unreal. I miss a few friends in California but they'll be there when I get back :) Off to bed.

Saturday July 25th

I want to try to post about my days at home because they are days I do not want to forget. Basically, these posts are for me. From San Diego to Houston. About 2 hrs. Janie tucked tightly under the seat. Never makes a peep. Lay over in Houston. Saw a man with a rolled up t shirt, camo hat, mullet, nasty stache, wranglers and knew that I was home. Almost wanted to hug him :) Houston to San Diego, another good flight. Birmingham airport... I see my mom, she hugs me, I cry. We wait on my luggage it takes forever, I am again reminded that I am in the south, where things are a lot slower. On the way home we stop for dinner at a place that has no name.

It is seriously a shack and the window on the side of the house is used as a "drive thru" with a gravel drive! Across the street is Ragland's grocery store and dollar general. Big timers! This just made me smile. Then we head home, cross over the coosa a little after sunset, gorgeous. Finally, "home". Then off to my sister's in Jacksonville to get a crate for Janie. I had to really concentrate while driving on those little back country roads and get used to using my brights again. Windows down, country radio on, crickets louder than the radio. So thankful to be in Alabama. My nephew Taylor is almost as tall as me and weighs 25 more lbs than me!! Cade is so big as well, he can pick me up now. Now it is Sunday morning. Getting ready for church. Jason Aldean and Kenny Chesney serenading me. Took Janie to potty in the backyard in my underwear (that is what I love the most, woods, privacy, no neighbors, haha). Swimming with the nephews today after church and spending the night with them tonight. Then off to Warner Robbins tomorrow to see Rowan!! These are the days.

Knitting....

Yes, knitting. Like a grandmother would do. I am now a member of a knitting club. We knit every other Thursday night in the home of Sharon Pfrang (dear friend and rent a parent from church). I am just learning. I think tonight was the 3rd night of knitting for me. I am just working on a scarf. This scarf is a hot mess for sure. I started knitting too tightly. I think it's because I knit while watching "Lost" which is a very intense show at times. So, now I'm knitting more loosely and my most recent rows are quite lovely. This is just for practice so I'm trying to put my perfectionistic tendencies aside so I can get the hang of it completely.

There are women of all ages on Thursday nights. Everyone brings something to snack on that becomes our dinner. Usually there are a few different kind of salads, desserts, bread, Sherry always brings a chicken, and of course fruit and nuts (since we live in the fruit and nut state). I absolutely look forward to knitting night and getting to know these women more and more. Everyone has the most interesting stories and everyone comes from all over. I met Betty for the first time tonight and she is from New Finland! Carol always has me laughing and Mary Sue will say it like it is, which I LOVE. Sharon is so genuine and interested in my life. Sharon Pfrang brings us all together with her warm spirit and her wonderful baking skills :) Sherry is humble and honest. Amy has only been knitting a year and she is amazing with her needles. Here is the link to her blog: http://knittingknewbie.wordpress.com/ Tonight Amy brought her new spinning wheel. I have never even wondered how to make yarn but tonight I found out how and actually made some yarn myself. It was so very neat to learn all about the spinning wheel and to work it. I took pictures but only on my phone just so I can show my mom and sisters that I can be crafty. It will be a long minute before I post pictures of my knitting but as soon as I complete something you better bet I'll post a picture.

Well, I'm off to bed. Janie is already snoring beside me. Saturday morning the two of us depart for the south. So very excited. PS: My 3rd nephew was born on Monday July 20th at 8:09 pm Georgia time. 7 lbs 4 oz 20 in long. Brown hair. I cannot wait to hold that baby! When I get home I'll take a lot of pictures and post one of that beautiful baby Rowan.

Home.

Trees.

Rowan.

Taylor&Cade.

Sisters.

Parents.

Grandparents.

Friends.

churchHOME.

Grass.

Humidity.

I20.

Love.

Crickets.

Concern.

Fun.

Backroads.

Zaxby's.

Fabiano's.

Lightninbugs.

Hudson's.

Sweettea.

Nowork.

Friendship.

Acceptance.

Encouragement.

Relaxation.

Heat.

Swimmin.

Dirtroads.

One week. I cannot wait. My heart hurts more than I ever imagined it could.... so I'm very excited to roam around Ohatchee, Douglasville, Villa Rica and Warner Robbins for two weeks. Someone might have to force me back on the plane headed to San Diego on August 9th. Everytime I fly home I start crying when we fly over familiar land and especially when we land, it's a feeling I can't even try to explain. This time I might ball........thrilled about being home.

May Grey....

June gloom....

That's what we're experiencing here in San Diego. If you want to visit beautiful southern California don't do it in May or June. Chilly weather today and the sun has only made an appearance once. I have lived here for a year now. An interesting year for sure. As I look back on that year I smile about some things. Here are a few.

My roommate. Brittany Presley. Better known as Bea.

I did not know her before moving out here.

We had dinner once in Georgia to talk about living together.

I could not have survived this year with out her.

Not only is she a phenomenal roommate but an incredible friend.

She always has my back.

I admit, I was unsure when we first arrived in San Diego because you see, she is an awful driver and on top of that her music taste is different to say the least. Those two things combined almost drove me mad. Now, however, I embrace most of her crazy music artists and dance along, and in the car I just hold on for life when she's driving. Now that I know her and her heart, I love those things about her that made me hesitant a year ago. Bea is one of the greatest gifts God has given me and I'm so very thankful for her.

Check this out: Our lives are so similar-

Our parents met because mine and her dad started driving by our moms house on their motorcycles. HAHA. Our parents all have 3 girls. Her little sister's name is Maggie. We both have 2 nephews with the same age difference (now I have another on the way :)), we both love our Paw-Paw's more than life, we both DO NOT go on dates , we both loved boys who didn't love us and have boys that loves us that we will never love, "we are the only normal people" haha, our relationships with our dads in the past and present are very similar, and so many more. Basically Jesus had us in mind when drawing our attention to California. yay.

ME.

yikes. Living here as made me crazy. I have turned myself inside out and upside down over and over. I'm discovering a lot about myself and determining what is worth hanging on to and what I should let go. It's not a pretty process but it's kinda like that story with the gold and boiling it to get the impurities to rise to the top so you can scrape em off so that the gold is super pure. Maybe one day I'll be super pure. I went from the town I pretty much grew up in and had made a name and reputation for myself to a really big sea where no one knew me, or my family or my friends.

Independence.

I feel a sense of independence. Don't get me wrong. My parents are still helping me some but to feel that I moved across the country by myself, I'm holding a job and I'm twenty one living on the coast of somewhere beautiful feels good ya know? I've seen things, I've done things, I left home, I've always had that- I don't need nobody attitude- and it's true but I am excited about having some boy that won't try to tame me but only fire up my craziness ya know and join me and chase crazy dreams with me!

Family.

Family is so important to me. It is hard being away sometimes. Missing baby showers, missing my nephew's ball games, missing my grandparent's good cooking and lovin, I know for sure I want to have babies close to my family unless I'm living in South America somewhere growing my own food and walking around barefoot like a local. :)

yay California. I booked a flight for July 25th. I'm coming home baby! So very excited, the pup is comin too. She will get to see the furnace she's named after. Not to mention that baby that is gettin ready to be born. He is going to love his Aunt Maggie, the crazy one with crazy hair in crazy California. ok the end. bye.

Out with the old....

In with the new....

I have no idea what I posted about last. As far as new things go....

- Bea and I moved into a house where the rent it actually slightly cheaper than what we were paying in the 700 sq ft condo. Now, we have roughly 1300 sq ft. Ellenor also moved in with us. The three of us and Janie are enjoying all of the space.

- I have started small in trying to find my motivation and it was worked. I feel like I have been able to accomplish a lot lately. My attitude is better and I'm trying to make the most out of all situations.

- My sister's due date is 5 weeks away!! I can't believe it! That means I'm coming home in 5 weeks. Booked my flight today. I cannot wait to hold that baby boy. I have already decided I will take 493579348579 pictures because I'll have to wait until Christmas to see him again.

- One of my D-group girls was out here last month and it was so very nice to see her and briefly chat with her. She is so encouraging and she has such a good grip on reality and the things of Jesus. She is going to the Dominican Republic this summer and I'm so excited for her. The DR holds a special place in my heart. I have a friend there named Alex. He is 6 years old and he is so precious. We are pen pals and I support him and pray for him and he does the same for me.

- My friend Blaine (gotta love those Gable boys) also came out last month with Krayv. So, I got to hang out with Blaine and Collin one night. It was nice to hang out with those boys.

- I am now addicted to Lost. Bea and my friend Chiang encouraged me to watch it and yep, I'm hooked. Only on season 2 and have a lot to catch up on before the last season airs this upcoming fall.

- I had Janie spayed last Thursday night and she is pitiful. She has to wear that collar and she is scared of it. We both can't wait until she is better so we can run and play. She is just a dog but I do love her.

- Last month my Paw-Paw, who is 85 years old had a TIA which is similar to a mini-stroke. It scared me half to death. If you don't know, I love my Paw-Paw so very much. Paw-Paw and I send letters back and forth every week and talk on the phone several times a week. He means the world to me and I was a wreck when I got the phone call. The doctors observed him and sent him home a couple days later. The physical therapist had a look at him this week and said he doesn't need any therapy. God is so good. I am so glad he is doing well. I was begging Jesus to just make him be ok.

So here are some pictures of the new place:

The table and chairs came from an antique thrift shop in North Park called Pat's. Very interesting place. I about had a cow when I saw the table and chairs. Can you believe I only paid $65!! Ellenor bought the little cabinet and we painted it that crazy color. I also got a rad jewelry box for $10! I am still thrilled about my bargains!

Today...

is the day.

So, my last few posts have been quite sad. Honest and sad. I feel like all I've been doing is complaining about how strange Californians are, how I want to go home, how I'm a mess, how I have no wise counsel in my life, how I have no encouragement and on and on and on. Those things are true but I think I've let all of these things become me. So embarrassing. It's funny because Bea had a friend from LA come down a few weeks ago and we had so much fun. He started asking me all kinds of questions to try and find out about me. (Which is the first time that has happened in a year. No one out here has shown the slightest bit of interest in really getting to know "the georgians".) I used to be able to nail all of those questions instantly but for the first time ever I was completely stumped. He was asking about my goals, my passions, my heart, what I want, what I long for and I couldn't think of any answers. I know that I used to really have a heart for high school girls, I know I love kids, I know I really desire to be a wife and mother, I love adventure but none of those things, desires, pursuits are present in my life. My mind started turning faster and faster. I couldn't keep up. I don't even know what I'm doing out here, I feel as if I have no purpose, I became so frightened when all I could think about myself was... apathy. I just don't care anymore. I mean really care. About anyone, or anything. That is completely unlike the Maggie that I know. So, the self examination began. Moving here has been tough and life is absolutely different but that is no excuse. I let all of these little situations turn me into an apathetic, disconnected girl that I am so ashamed to call Maggie. 

My friend Hannah has been having some "heart" trouble lately. I would talk to her and tell her that it's ok to be upset and that it will pass and she'll be better before she knows it. That is the most ridiculous thing that has ever come out of my mouth. Ok, well not the most but you get the point. I should have been there listening, pushing her forward, encouraging her and making her stronger. Instead I just let her feel like it was ok to mope. I did not realize how out of whack I was until I talked to her the other day and she told me that she has decided that she is gonna be better and not bitter. I was so encouraged by what she said. I saw the old me in her and I longed to have "me" back. Then it hit me..... you should have been the one to tell her that. I used to be like Hannah. Something would happen, I'd pout about it and then I'd move on to bigger and better things letting all things work for the good of Jesus inside of me. It was then that I realized that not only was I apathetic and pathetic but I am also so unmotivated. Unmotivated and aware of it. Still, with my awareness and all, I don't care to do anything about it. 

HOWEVER:

Today is a new day. I'm going to start small as my sister, Paige, told me to do so. I'm starting fresh. California needs the Maggie from Douglasville. The fiery girl with a huge heart. So far, I redid my budget. The amount of my pay check changed because of taxes so I reworked my budget and I'm ready to get my monies in order. My friend Marie also told me that I should force feed myself the Bible everyday so I'm gonna give that a shot for the millionth time. I know for a fact that that will help. It's probably not a bad idea to start exercising again as well and cooking dinner every night like I used to. On the real though, I really do have to start small. But it is extremely hard for me to believe that this is all God wanted me out here for. So, let the games begin. I kinda feel like that story about the gold and God is scraping all the impurities out of me and one day I'll be nice and shiny. 

Even if God never shows up in my life again.... (which is impossible)

I still have endless reasons why I can still raise my hands and praise him. 

He has been so good to me. There is never a time that I have nothing to thank him for or praise him for. 

Now here's my life, my offering. One day at a time. 

Negative Nancy.....

And when we get home, I know we won't be home at all
This place we live, it is not where we belong
And I miss who we were in the town that we could call our own
Going back to get away after everything has changed

Could you remind me of a time when we were so alive?
(Everything has changed)
Do you remember that? Do you remember that?
(Everything has changed)
Could you help me push aside all that I have left behind?
(Everything has changed)
Do you remember that? Do you remember that?

So we stand here now and no one knows us at all
I won't get used to this
I won't get used to being gone
And going back won't feel the same if we aren't staying
Going back to get away after everything has changed

Could you remind me of a time when we were so alive?
(Everything has changed)
Do you remember that? Do you remember that?
(Everything has changed)
Could you help me push aside all that I have left behind?
(Everything has changed)
Do you remember that? Do you remember that?

Taking up our time
Taking up our time
Taking up our time
It's taking up our time again
Go back we can't go back at all
It's taking up our time again
Go back we can't go back at all
It's taking up our time again
Go back we can't go back at all
It's taking up our time, taking up our time

Could you remind me of a time when we were so alive?
Do you remember that? Do you remember that?

-Paramore

Franklin

(track 9 on All We Know is Falling)

-------------------------------------------------------------

Negative Nancy

Breakdown Brenda

Complaining Claire

Pitiful Peggy

That is how I feel. About me. No one wants any of those girls around! So brace yourself or just disregard this entire post. I just have to get it off my chest. I have almost lived here a year now and I'm still a huge mess. My life is not horrible. (I am addicted to Charmaine's blog. She's a friend from home that is fighting cancer and going through chemo. I am so hesitant to even type these things because they are so petty and small compared to the struggles and illnesses some are enduring.) I have a lot to be thankful for. I am thankful for my health, God's provision etc. etc. It's all internal with me. I can't explain the mess. I just want out. I am tired of living here where I have to work so hard to be loved. I have to do certain things and then turn right around and NOT do something else to win the love and approval of some "friends" out here. I guess I was just really blessed at home. People just loved me, ya know. I didn't have to work for it. They just gave it freely like Jesus does. I'm so confused as to how certain people can be so mean to someone who didn't do a thing.... not to mention they don't know that well. I guess little kids behave this way on the playground. Kids are mean. I guess sometimes they don't know better but when you hit about 19, 20 you should probably be pretty aware of your actions. I feel like a little kid who has been hurt by the other kids at school and all I want to do is get off the school bus, run inside, sit in my mom's lap and just cry. Life's tough, get a helmet... I know. My mom is a long long long way away. You know, I'm pretty tough if I do say so myself- but not this tough. I try to act all hard and then it's no time before I'm breaking down. I'm reading Soul Cravings by Erwin McManus. It is very good so far. But lately he's been talking a lot about how we long to be loved and have community. That's how we were created. It is so true. That is really all I'm longing for right now. Love. Ok, so that's my sob story. blah blah blah. Good news: I get to come home this summer when Rowan is born! 

Fear...

I have a fear that has been consuming a lot of my thinking time lately. What do I fear you ask? Well, you see, Californians are weird. I've probably said it before but it is so true. I can't explain it to where you could totally comprehend but I will try. They have these weird boundaries. In the south we don't have boundaries ya know? Personal space? Whatev... we just love each other and get up in each other's business. Here in San Diego, you better be careful. It is very easy to find yourself being called "inappropriate".  Also, people out here don't know anything about their friends really. They just coexist and hang out. They never have real talks or get real with one another. STRANGE. Also, "mentors" don't really exist out here either. I go to Flood church on Sunday nights and I get the vibe that all it is is a bunch of college aged kids sharing their theories and calling it biblical truth. There are no older couples with all that life wisdom and experience willing to invest in my generation. Ok, so I'm being drama. I'm sure there are those older couples somewhere... I just haven't found them. Basically, I need "mom" figures in my life to put me in my place when I get all out of line and crazy ya know?! One last thing I've noticed is.... boys don't want to be your friend then date you. They want to date you right away. Lame. Everyone knows that does not flow with Maggie. I have always been friends with my boys before dating them and I wouldn't have it any other way! Friendship is golden. 

So, I rambled on about that to say.... I am so scared that when I move home..... I too will be weird. I am afraid that all of this nonsense will rub off on m

e. I say all the time that I want to marry a southern boy but heck, if I come home all californianized and strange all the southern boys will be like, "What happened to Maggie? She moved to California and got all weird on us." Then I will die a flippin virgin because I'll be the weird girl from California who no one wants to marry.  I just know that when I move home and hang out with everyone they will all leave and talk about how strange I am now. I know how I feel about Californians and I don't ever want anyone to say those things about me. 

I like California. Don't take this the wrong way. I just have some concerns. If I didn't like it here, I'd pack up and head east. I have a great job and good friends, weird, but good. I love my roommate and will cry hard if she really does move to Italy in six months. This city is huge and the opportunities are endless. One of my closest guy friends told me when he came to visit last July that I wasn't here for Elevate but that God had something different for me. I'm anxious to discover what that is. 

So I got some bangs. My hairdresser tried talking me into them in January. I was too chicken. So I found some bravery laying around my condo and did it. Some days I like them. They are fun and spunky. Other days I feel like Cher or I feel like I should be singing,"Pharaoh, Pharaoh, Oh baby, let my people go! HUH! yeah yeah yeah." haha. Tomorrow I'm having a little purple put in them. Shall be quite fun as well. 

Cereal...

does the body good. Saturday morning, 9:30 am in bed with my new mac and my Janie girl. Workin on my itunes. The sun hasn't come out in SD yet but I highly doubt it will hide all day, I mean it's San Diego. So yes, I saved a butt load of money and invested in a macbook which I love! 

Oh and Holly was here last week. It took her awhile to get here and to get home but we had a lot of fun. I showed her all the cool places in San Diego, introduced her to my friends and we made a SNICKERS cake. I hadn't had one since high school and I totally forgot the amazingness this cake possesses. She flew in and out of LAX so on Sunday when I took her back up to LA we took the Pacific Coastal Highway for a little while through Laguna. Let me just tell you.... that place is so beautiful. I know exactly why they would film a bunch of spoiled high schoolers there. As for LA... well I don't like that place. I think it's one of those things like after you've visited or lived in San Diego, LA becomes the ghetto to you. haha i love it

My nephew, Cade, turned 8 years old last Sunday. I can't believe it. I am constantly having to remind myself that they are not babies at all anymore. Taylor will be turning 11 April 6th. I love those boys so much and wish I could be at their birthday parties and jump on the trampoline and play video games. :( One day.... Before I know it that little Rowan will be here. 

So we made these new friends. They are pretty rad. I will not lie. Last night these two boys cooked US dinner. That's right. I mean I absolutely LOVE love having people over all the time and feeding them but it is so nice to get the treatment for once. They even made a pazookie for dessert! Then we went tromping around San Diego in the dark with out flash lights on this underground hunt for letter boxes.  Although we never accomplished our goal it was a lot of fun. The night ended on the cliffs. At 12:30 last night I paused as I was standing on the edge of a cliff looking out at the ocean while the waves were crashing..... and I took a deep breath and thought to myself, "You live in California. This is your Friday night. Don't ever take what God has given you for granted." That was a good moment for me and myself. I wish Holly could live here or Hannah. I just want the people I love to experience all of this. It is truly astounding.

Today is Chick Fil A. Bea and I eat CFA every Saturday :) I also need my oil changed and car washed. So I better go do something with my life. All of this was really boring but this is the day to day I guess. 

Muchlove