Miles: 5 Months

5 months already?

- you weigh 17lb 3oz.👶🏼

- you have found your voice and "cry" out if no one is talking to you or if mama leaves the room

- you are close to sitting up but still fall over

- you take several 45 min- hour naps during the day and like to get in the bath at 7 and be in bed by 8pm

- you are still chewing on everything

- you are so content and happy

- you love when mama sings to you

- you are tough. Hank rough houses you all the time and you just smile

- you roll from back to belly to sleep now. Don't tell the chiropractor.

- you grab everything, love to be outside, and love to be worn.

Love you! Time is flying and you are growing! Hank is in a difficult phase now and the Lord is refining me during the process. Lots of prayer and lots of discipline. Looking forward to your first Christmas later this week. Thankful for you and your brother. Praying that your daddy and I can raise you in a way that glorifies the Lord. 

Miles 4 Months!

Well since you are almost 5 months I guess I should do your 4 month post.

- you love your brother and smile at first glance of him.

- you are rolling from back to belly.

- you smile all the time.

- you are a chunk weighing: 15lbs 15oz.

- we skipped your well check because who wants to go to the doctor during flu season? Not me!

- you are still sitting with mama in church with your food on tap.

- you start out in your bed and end up next to me at some point in the night.

- first cackle on nov. 2nd at Hank doing cannon balls in the bath tub.

- on the 10th you laughed at mama saying "boo" and you also started singing to yourself in the car.

- you rolled from back to belly on Nov. 7th.

I love you. Everyone always comments on how laid back and easy going you are. You smile a lot and you love Hank. Speaking of Hank, he started singing "How great is our God" this week and it melted my heart. Hank also has his Eric Carle opposite books memorized. Love you boys so much!

Lessons in life... Sin is hard. Sin is devastating when it hurts others. Satan wants to keep you there in the guilt, shame, and hurt. Christ died for all of those. Accept his forgiveness and grace and use those two gifts to motivate you to be transformed into his likeness. You are meant for greatness. Lean into him and press forward. There are so many men in the Bible that had sin but God still used them. They committed adultery, murder, slander, etc.. He made them like new and used them regardless. Do not be a prisoner to you sin, shame or guilt. He paid for that. Repent and walk in his glory. I struggle so hard with this. Always feeling unworthy and that my sin makes me useless. The devil might win some battles but the ultimate victory belongs to Christ the Lord. Just needed to write this out because it has been a struggle in my past and present and I'm sure I'll want the reminder for the future.

Miles: 3 months

I don't know how we are already here. I caught you on your way out what seems like yesterday!

-You are quite the social creature. You smile at anyone who makes eye contact with you. Sometimes you smile at me while nursing. Melts my heart. No bond like the one a mama and her nursling share!

-You discoverd your tongue. You love to stick it out and lick things. 

-You weighed 14lbs 8oz.

-Since the 2 month post brother potty trained and you both survived RSV. Just one more shout out to breastmilk and the pharmacy I carry in my boobs! 

-You now grab toys hanging from the activity mat. 

-You found your hands and you love to suck and chew on them, hungry or not.

-You are still your daddy's identical twin and everyone comments on how much you two look alike.

-Still a pretty good sleeper sleeping from 8/9 until waking around 1/2 to eat before going back to sleep again. 

-You love taking baths with me and Hank. You love Hank period. If he walks by you smile. You two love doing "patty cake" together also!

-Tonight in the bath Hank was doing cannon balls and you were cracking up! You gave me a chuckle this morning for the first time but it was nothing compared to how you were laughing at H! I love watching you two together! 

Miles, we love you child. You are so happy and so smiley all the time. I cherish every snuggle with you. I love how you wrinkle your nose when you smile. I love all of your fat rolls. Praying for you to be a mighty warrior! I pray you know Christ early on and have a heart to always follow him. 

Hank, I am so proud of you for potty training when your brother was 2 months old. You are so big and so strong willed and I think that is what made potty training so easy. You decided you were ready and you did it. Not much work for mama. You started stuttering this month. Our speech pathologist relative said it is completely normal. The first day was quite annoying but I'm used to it .now and find it a little cute! You have started thanking God for people at dinner. You always thank God for Miles and then sometimes Daddy and Ma. Yesterday you opened daddy's bible and said "God made me". You must be listening in Sunday school😍. You run around singing "How great is our God" which is the first song on our lullaby CD we play at night. You have been an absolute joy for the last couple of weeks. Leaning so much, communicating so well, and in such a good mood. I love you baby. Praying for you to know the Lord early on, serve Him, and be a leader in your generation. 

Hank funny 9/24/15

Today we were on our way home from target and I said, "Hank, I love you." Without hesitation you replied, "I love daddy." Stinker! Then we argued about who loved daddy more and if he was Hank's daddy or Ma's daddy. 

You do not like the scene in The Jungle Book at the end that starts with the birds. You ask me to fast forward it. 

You do not like the cat to get in the house. You yell really loud and then grab whoever it is, Dash or Fluff, and drag/carry them to the door to put them back outside. Hilarious. 

You say here, there, and bear in a really funny voice. Your country accent is killing me. So cute. 

Potty training chronicles:

Yesterday you told me you had to go pee in the potty and that you'd be right back. In the last couple weeks you have been showing signs that you are almost ready to potty train. That statement yesterday was all I needed to tackle this giant with you. You went pee on the potty several times yesterday, you went outside too and only wore a diaper to Aldi and then pooped in it when I was putting groceries away. So this morning we got ready and headed to target to pick out a potty seat so you could poop in the potty like Mogli. (Your obsession with Disney's 1967 film, The Jungle Book, has really come in handy since it looks like Mogli wears big boy underwear. So I have you convinced that Mogli pees and poops in the potty.) You picked out the Elmo potty seat, we got some more undies to add to your collection, tried to tee in the bushes in the parking lot, and headed back to Wellington. You stayed accident free all morning and even wore briefs for your 2 hour nap. You had 2 accidents right after you woke up but I think it was partly my fault for not hyping you back up about the potty and you were still kinda out of it. You pooped in the potty twice. I have potty trained a set of twin girls and another little girl. You are my first boy to potty train and you are mine. I don't go home and leave you with your parents. It's us 24/7. And it. is. emotional. Either I have forgotten how emotional this whole process is or I'm just emotional because I'm tired from giving you/it my all. All. day. long. I am so proud. I am also scared. I want to get this right for you. I want to push through all the hard moments for the next week to make sure you are successful. I want us to walk forward from here and take zero steps back. You are so smart and determined. Just hoping you use your determination to be a potty trained champ! 

Miles: 1 Month

How are you 1 month old already?! Wait, how are you 2 months old tomorrow and I'm just now recording? Oh, I remember I have been busy keeping you and Hank alive. Whew, let me tell you, it is a job! Anyhoo.....

Side by side of you and your dad.

Talking to Daddy

-You started following me with your eyes and head on August 3rd. Smart boy! Keep your eye on the food/ most beautiful mama you've ever seen ;) You also had your very first bath on this day and loved it!
-Your first card night was July 31st and your first football game was August 21st.
-You smiled at your "Ma" (as your brother calls me) twice on the 20th.
-You weighed in at 10lb13oz on the 25th at Baby Cafe.
-You are a joy! We love you so much.
-Most of your meals are "on the run" while we chase brother or play ball or go on walks.
-Your naps are mostly interrupted. Thank your brother for that too :)

Before church

Mickey wearing

I'm that mom and I'm not sorry. 

Hank-23 months!
Last month before you turn 2!!
-You are a big brother now.
-You LOVED meeting Miles for the first time.
-You handled that transition pretty well. Your dad going back to school? Not so much. We're working through it though...
-Aunt Ar came to visit and you really loved her and the bear hunts she took you on. You love singing "Bringing home a baby bumblebee" and "5 little monkeys". Or is it monkies? I don't know, I have mom brain...
-You are putting your own sentences together now. It is pretty cute.



Love you boys so much!
**Miles I'm sorry these posts will always be a little late and not as detailed as your brother's. Just know your life is already more exciting than Hank's was at this point. I have given both of you the ultimate gift in that you are brothers and will be best friends one day. You are so very welcome ;)

The Birth of Miles Nunnelly Ginn

{If words like "placenta" make you queasy... you should probably skip this birth story because I'm charting every detail.}

In October of 2014 Will and I were in the car having a "when do you want to have another baby?" conversation. I was sharing with Will how I don't feel like I have what it takes to be what God has called me to be as Hank's mother much less another child. Inadequacy I guess. I told him that I do not feel comfortable "planning" a family or "trying" for babies. To me, it feels like I am trying to play God. Like I know best or I know what the future holds/ should hold. I am SO aware that I do not know best. I told Will I wanted the Lord to decide and for him to just be like "You're pregnant and now is the time for another baby." I am so much better off trusting God. So, no decision was made but I did say I wanted a little bit more time because I was still nursing Hank around the clock and felt like a little time for my body to build up it's nutritional stores would make me feel more confident about getting pregnant.

In November of 2014 I complained that my boobs were so sore from Hank nursing more frequently while cutting his 1 year molars. Ouch! Fast forward to Thanksgiving. For some reason it hit me that maybe I should have already started by this point even though my cycles were still really spaced out from nursing. So, I sent Will to the DG. One dark line, one faint line. UM, WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?! Ha! So, off Will goes again for another test. No, make that 2 tests. With each test taken Will just laughed and said, "You are pregnant, I don't know why you keep taking tests.". I couldn't believe it. We had been very careful last month and basketball had just started and Hank still didn't sleep through the night so you know that makes things difficult. He was right. I was pregnant and I wasn't sore from Hank cutting molars. I was sore because I was pregnant. We went to the doctor at the end of December and Dr. J confirmed that I was pregnant and a week and half further along than I thought! Wow. Here we go again!

Enter all the emotions here. Emotional because the things I told Will I wanted from God in October happened. Emotional because I don't deserve to be loved like the Lord loves me. In scripture, songs, books, conversations... He is always romancing me and it is the most beautiful love I have ever known.

January of 2015 was a hard month for me personally. It was full of prayer, godly counsel, professional counsel, self assessment, and a lot of dying to myself so that He could be glorified. That, all of that, was worth it. This was such a time of spiritual growth for me. A time when I better understood my husband and his thought process. And I prayed. A LOT. For this baby boy. That he would be okay despite all of this turmoil inside of me. The Lord really used this time to draw me closer to him and ultimately I think he gave Will a better wife and our boys a better mother through this time of refinement.

Over the next months I prayed about this birth. I had already switched providers. Dr. J is fairly new to our area and uses evidence based care and practices for his patients. He was a dream to work with. My routine appointments are just that... routine and boring and such a blessing. I struggled some with Miles laying on my sciatica and blowing out all the veins in the back of my right leg. Both pretty painful. Other than that, a pretty great pregnancy that consisted of chasing a toddler every day all day. Will and I took Nancy Makransky's birth classes. She has a class for the first trimester, second trimester, and then the natural child birth class for your third. They were wonderful and Will enjoyed them as much as me, maybe more. This time was really special for me because for just a few hours over the weekend I could really dream about this baby without any distractions. I could dream of his birth, what he would look like, and who he would some day become. So special.

A few weeks before our edd I made some notecards with verses that I would need for encouragement, reassurance, to battle fear, and to battle anxiousness. I would read through them at night or during the day. I would put one over the kitchen sink or on the end table. One that was such a blessing to my heart, especially when I was 40 weeks was this:

It was so sweet to trust in him.

This is how it goes:

Facebook message and responses from some ladies that for whatever reason I felt confident in confiding in and trusted that they would truly pray for me.

Later that afternoon I reach out to Will (the most important person in my birth team) via text telling him that fear has set in, I don't know why, please pray. July 21 2:11pm his response, "Yeah baby but you know you got this. God is in control. Read your verses. He has been taking care of you and Miles for the past nine months. Trust him to take care of the last few days. I think it is the early due date that has got us anxious. It's all good though you are gonna shine. I just know it." 

Every time we prayed together (for weeks leading up to Miles' birthday) we just asked God to help us trust him. This becomes important later when I am left waiting and waiting and trusting in the Lord and his design of my body.

Earlier in the summer Will and I made a little business decision together in hopes to pad the savings account before I left work to be a SAHM. On Wednesday, July 22nd we closed that deal. Hooray!! We had already planned to take Hank to the museum in Gadsden that day and waited until after nap time since we had to finish our business deal. We had a really great time as a family of 3 and I just enjoyed that time with my baby knowing that sooner or later he would no longer be my only baby. After leaving the museum we went to Top of the River (with gift cards) to celebrate closing our deal. Hank killed some cole slaw, hush puppies, onions, and shrimp. We fed the fish, ducks, and turtles and headed home. Will joked, "that food is gonna make Miles come". We were running late and I wouldn't make it to church. I wasn't too upset though. I think I knew it would be soon and I was really enjoying our time as a family. Next on the agenda was cards at Ben and Purdy's at 7 or 7:30. So after resting on the couch and "wallowing" with Hank I got up to use the bathroom before we were to leave for cards. Pop. Gush. "Um, I think my water is breaking." W: "Are you sure you didn't pee on yourself?" Me: "Um no. You can smell if you want, it is not pee." We talked about what this meant and I told Will there would be no cards tonight but that I didn't want anyone to know my waters had broke. I was ready at this point but nothing was happening. However, my doula and I suspected I am a fast birther based on my birth with Hank so I gave her a call around 7:30 to let her know. I am so glad we spent this day like we did. It was such a great day.

I call everyone that was invited to Miles' birth plus my long distance sister. Hollie, Paige, Mom and Dad, Jordan, and Brittany. Such fun phone calls!

Text from my sister, Hollie. Wednesday July 22 7:25pm

"I am so excited. I don't think I will be able to sleep tonight. Praying for you. He has gone before you. You are ready. You are able. He is able. Every minute you are closer to meeting him! Love you!" 

 Around 8:30 I get in touch with Nancy. I tell her we have been on a walk and that we will probably go to bed like normal. She said that we would go to bed like normal but that she would be coming over to spend the night. Yay! Slumber party with Nancy!! We get back inside after dark and I tell Will that I want to put Hank to bed. I was thinking I might have a baby by morning and I wanted that time with him. And I cried. And cried. I bathed Hank and cried, I put his pajamas on and cried. Will asked if I was okay or if I was hurting. Not hurting, just overwhelmed by all the change that is coming. I read my baby some books, turned on his "Sing over me" lullabies and rocked and wept, rocked and wept. So excited to give Hank a brother but so sad all at the same time that our time together- just me and him- was over. Nervous about what he would think of a baby and if he would struggle with not being my only baby. Things I cried about before ever thinking about becoming pregnant. What a woman. Ha! Oh me of little faith. I pull it together and lay him down. I straighten the house, finish packing our bags, and Nancy arrives. Excitement is in the air. We talk and chat after not seeing one another for a couple of weeks. Will fills up all of our cars with gas.  Will and I munch on homemade granola I made earlier that day while rocking in the recliner. Then it is off to bed we go. I have a few very mild contractions through the night and fall asleep after each one. Hank was up a couple times during the night and the last time I begged Will to bring him to our bed. That baby gets in bed, puts his arms around my neck and says, "Hey Ma." Hey baby. "Night Ma." Night baby. Heart swelling. 

The plan for morning was to get up, eat breakfast and take a long walk if nothing happened through the night. We all wanted to avoid a day in the hospital. I only wanted to go to the hospital to squat and have a baby (as Nancy and I often joked). On our walk we saw Will's brother, Scott and my life long friend, Landry. Landry is Will's friend too I just like our history and that I saw him the day of my second child's birth. We get home and still nothing. Nancy texts Dr. J to tell him that SROM happened the night before around 7 and asked him what he wanted us to do. We all know what he wanted but we are still trying to stall at this point. Ha! She tells him that I will shower and we will head to the hospital. Hank goes down for his nap and I phone Dad to come play with Hank for the rest of the afternoon. Will and I shower and attempt to get some contractions started naturally with oxytocin. At this point I am feeling sad and questioning this whole thing. I know my body knows how to give birth. I did it less than 2 years ago and it went really well. So what is the hold up this time?? I text one of my spiritual moms, Cheryl and ask her to pray for me. Her response Thur July 23 11:11am: "I love you!! With my second my water broke at 9 that morning and I never had any contractions until that evening and she was born at 11:30. All was well! If you want or need me at ANY TIME you just have someone to call me. Your Elohim will be with you! He created this moment in time especially for you. Joshua 31:6 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the Lord (Jehovah) your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you. Thank you for allowing me the priveledge of talking to our Father for you and your dear son!" Her response could not have been more timely or more perfect. The Lord knew the exact encouragement I needed in that very moment. I stood in the kitchen and wept. 

Nancy reminded me that I should eat a really good lunch because the hospital wouldn't want me eating after I arrived there. So I had a tomato sandwich, some cheese and basil, and a piece of leftover fish. Then we were off to the hospital and SROM was over 15 hours ago at this point. It was raining, it was pouring! I knew that rain would help me get Miles here. We arrive at the hospital and the nurses station looks really confused when they ask if I am there to have a baby and I say yes but I am calm and totally fine/normal at this point. So they show us to our room and monitor us for the routine 20 minute strip. I really loved my nurse with Hank and she recently had twin girls so I knew she wouldn't be there for this birth. I asked her who she would recommend and she said Haley and Janine. When my nurse came in for me to finish the last bit of paperwork I asked her her name. It was Haley. Of course it was. And Janine was also there that day and I'm pretty sure I was the only patient in L&D that day. The Lord was so sweet, once again. Haley was a dream come true. She assured me that they would do as little as possible to help me have the natural birth I wanted. She was so relaxed and let me call all the shots. What an answer to prayer to have Haley by my side that day. You see your OB routinely for 9 months and form a special relationship with them and you have your L&D nurse for one day and then feel such a special bond by the end of their shift. If you can't tell, I love my labor and delivery nurses.

Throughout the day we go on walks around the hospital, talk, listen to music, and I bounce on the birth ball. Around 2 Nancy suggests I take a nap if I am tired because I might be up all night working for this baby. I agree that sounds like a good idea but I am freezing so I want to go walk outside to warm up and then I'll nap. So Nancy stayed inside and listened to podcasts and Will and I walked around Anniston holding hands and looking at all the pretty old houses. We get back to our room, I get cozy, Will starts reading in Acts and Nancy is listening to a podcast and the teacher is preaching from the exact passage Will is reading. Woah. Okay Lord, we knew you were in that place but now we really knew. Such a cool moment. I close my eyes and in walks Haley a little after 3pm. She talked to the doctor and he suggests antibiotics since SROM has been greater than 18 hours. She gives me my options and we refuse the antibiotics and all give each other smiles of confidence knowing that was the right call for me. Haley says Dr. J will be by when he finished with his patients at the office and that it would be great if we could make something happen by that time. Haley suggests getting some oxytoxin flowing naturally and I joke that Dr. J can finish seeing his patients and then I can have a baby and he can go home and have dinner with his family. Everyone kinda laughs at me thinking that probably wouldn't happen seeing as I hadn't had one contraction yet. Haley leaves and closes the door. Will's head bows in prayer. Nancy is diffusing clary sage and is applying it to a spot on my leg while I bounce on the ball. BAM! Contraction. Thank you Lord, you are always on time. Over the next 30 minutes I have 2 or 3 more and get so pumped while having a thankful spirit that the Lord heard our cries and I would have my baby soon, intervention free! Then they get super intense, back to back, with no breaks (just like with Hank). Will calls mom who is at work across the street, Jordan, and Brittany. Mom and Jordan arrive. The tub is filled up, Will and Haley convince me to get in. Relief from some of the pressure!! I keep on talking about my strong desire to poop because with Hank I pooped at the very beginning of labor and it gave me room down there and released some pressure. But no poop for me although it did provide some laughs for everyone else in the room. Meanwhile Nancy is 2 steps ahead of me. She is applying pressure when needed, fanning me, plugging up fans, putting cool cloths on my neck. That woman was such a blessing to me on that day (and many many other days). I would encourage every mama to invest in a doula, there will be no regrets. Haley asks if I want my pandora station turned up so I can hear it. Yes! I was just thinking that but couldn't voice it because of the intensity of the waves. Nancy called Dr. J and is afraid she may have jumped the gun. He arrives and wants me out of the tub to see what is going on? He checks me and I tell him, "Just don't tell me!". Haha. He smiled and said, "Maggie, you are complete.". He leans up against the wall and tells me to get back in the tub if I want. I know now that he told me that because little Miles still had not dropped. So out of the bed I go and bam another contraction. I drop to the floor and squat on my knees, working with/against the contraction and tell everyone that he is coming. The next thing I know is I caught my baby in my hands and told everyone, "He's here!". Dr. J so kindly assists me with one glove on like we are playing football.(He later admits he underestimated me just a bit.) Skin to skin, bliss, joy, adrenaline. Seriously the most exciting and exhilarating hour of my life. My first contraction was at 3:30pm and Miles arrived at 4:53pm. He weighed 8lb 5oz and was 20.5 inches long. He had brown hair, the most beautiful hair line, thick thighs, and was -I kid you not- perfect! Still is! During the most exciting parts of labor Will went into coach mode. He was fist bumping Jordan and Dr. J and shouting encouragement at me. Afterwards Miles and I cuddled for 2 hours and it was glorious. Will was next to us smiling and telling me how awesome I did and that I rocked it. I could not birth our boys without Will. He is strong, encouraging, and such a pillar of strength when I need it most. As we were cuddling I started crying again for the 3254 time that day and told my birth team that I was NOT postpartum but that I indeed was completely undeserving of the love of my Lord and Savior. The way he took care of me that entire day and answered prayer after prayer and giving me the strength and encouragement I needed to birth the most precious second son was entirely humbling. He is so sweet, such a personal God, and so patient with me and all of my doubts. I do not deserve that kind of love. I have never felt more supported, loved, encouraged, and strong than during this pregnancy and birth. Thank you to my husband, wonderful OB and friend, Dr. Johannson, Nancy (my doula), my mom, Jordan, Haley (my nurse), my sisters, and all the ladies who lifted me up in prayer and reminded me of God's promises. I am so thankful for God's great design, the gift of birth and breastfeeding, and the freedom to choose how my babies are brought into this world. It is because of these things that my relationship with Christ has grown and is more real to me. In these things I also find so much confidence as a mother and woman. 

"Oh Happy Day" by Jesus Culture was the song playing when Miles was born. So appropriate and the perfect tempo for such a fun, fast, and exciting birth! If you haven't ever heard it, go over to YouTube and listen!  

Hank, you are the most fabulous toddler I know. You were so excited about Miles and still have so much pride in your eyes when we talk about your brother. You have adjusted so well and that is what is most important to me. Your happiness makes my heart swell. I can't believe I have 2 babies now and at the same time I can't believe we ever lived without Miles. I hope you two grow up to be strong in the Lord, leaders of your generation and your families, I pray the Lord provides courageous, Christ-following wives to be the mothers of your children. I am so proud of who you are,Hank, and pray that the Lord will rain down wisdom on your daddy and me while we raise you up. Life has slowed down a bit for now but give it some time and all four of us will be playing basketball, soccer, baseball, and catching huge bass out of the pond. I love you boys and feel so rich to be your mother and your daddy's wife. Psalm 127:3-5. 

*More pictures to be added later when I get them off of my camera...

38 and 4 and 11 days shy of 22 months

Miles! 

It is almost time. Looking forward to meeting you sometime between now and the beginning of August. I am feeling good. You are still pretty active but I can tell space is getting limited. You spend a lot of time with your feet kicking the right side of my rib cage. I asked the chiro to elongate me so I can have my ribs back and no soreness. Sleep is hit or miss. Some nights I sleep solid except for a couple bathroom breaks. Other nights I just toss and turn. I am pretty emotional. I only want to be around people that I *know* love me. I do not want to be away from your brother at all. Every night I cherish our time doing the bath, books, rock, bedtime thing. I think the earliest you will come would be next weekend. Tomorrow is the 6th anniversary of your daddy's daddy's passing. We have a trip to the river in leesburg planned. Fishing for the boys and hopefully a long nap for me and your brother. I wish the 3 of us could have known him. I'm thinking he'd adore you boys. I have loved watermelon this summer just like I did when I was pregnant with Hank. I have been thoroughly enjoying organic mama third trimester tea iced with honey. So good! Your daddy likes it hot before bed. We go see Dr. J tomorrow for our weekly check in. He is such a great provider. I have eaten a tomato sandwich every day since the tomatoes came in. Maybe 2 or 3 weeks. So good! I have been so grateful to God for you lately. So thankful to have the privilege of carrying you in my body. Your brother still wakes at night so I pray to Jesus that you will be my good sleeper. I'll love you all the same if you aren't though.. Just ask Hank. I am so excited to stay at home with you and brother. 

Hank!

Your vocabulary has taken off this week!! You are saying big sentences and one of your most used is "I don't want it". You love catching frogs, bugs, going fishing, playing soccer in the living room with me and your dad, playing baseball, wallering all over me and your dad, eating Aldi's penguins, ice cream, watermelon, your vitamins, riding your tricycle, walking to see turner's horses, and "fwimming". I don't know if I already mentioned this or not but Brittany gave you a great hair cut and you look so handsome!! On Tuesday you started answering "yeah" to yes or no questions and to confirm if what we guess you are saying is correct. We had our annual cousin camp out last night at maw maws and you were fired up. You love your big cousins and they love you. I am excited for you to meet brother. I have been soaking up all of our time lately. You are such a joy to be around with the exception of a few ugly moments that require discipline. I cannot believe you will be 2 soon. Praying for you to be strong and courageous. Praying you will live a life worthy of the sacrifice Christ made. Praying that your faith will only grow stronger as each day passes. I want you to know Jesus and I want the people around you and Miles to know your love for the Lord by the life you live and speak into others. I want you to lead your wives and children and protect them. I love you boo bear. Forever and always.

Gratitude turns everything into enough.

Just like my friends at www.todaysletters.com say. 

Being a girl has it's ups and downs for sure. However, now that I consider myself more of a woman than a girl (thanks to childbirth, breastfeeding, and motherhood) I tend to think on the things that make me thankful I am a girl. 

Here is my off-the-top-of-my-head list:

- sharing recipes. I love trying new things and will loves consuming them. Sisters are wonderful for that as well as my sister in law and friends like Brittany, Hali, and Jordan. 

- bringing new life into the world. It can be painful at times but what a priveledge!! The Lord allows us to grow a human inside of us while providing extra blood and fluid for those 10 months. What a gift to be so in tune with our bodies. That cocktail of hormones released during an intervention free birth that give me, as a woman and mother the overwhelming bond, compassion, and nurturing characteristics needed to give my young my best. Simply incredible. Not to mention the extremely intimate and spiritual connection with my Savior and husband during the labor and birth process. Thankful for how He designed us and gives us all the strength needed to fully rise up to the calling placed on us for childbearing. 

-then there is the super power we have  to keep another human alive with just our bodies! No water, no snacks, just our milk. Milk that is specially formulated for humans. Not cows, not monkeys, not soy plants. Our human babies with growing human brains and bodies. Milk that changes throughout the day based on that babies needs. Milk that changes when exposed to a virus or cold. On top of all of that the milk we produce for boy babies and girl babies is even designed specially for their individual needs as male and female human babies. Amazing!!!

-the way we as women can connect with one another. It seems like we are much better than men at "getting real" when we find our "person". We can share our dreams, secrets, goals, and fears with one another and feel understood, encouraged, and loved. There are things in men that are so attractive and show the other part of God's image but I can write more easily about women because I experience that within on the daily. 

- our need to create or be creative. Some women like to make their homes beautiful, some like to host beautiful dinner parties, some love to do fancy hair and make up, some like to craft jewelry or wreaths, some like to knit, crochet, sew, or quilt. There are so many creative outlets and I love that most women are in tune with their need to leave traces of their beauty on their surroundings. Plus, what a great way to pass along pieces of ourselves to our children, grandchildren, friends, and loved ones. 

It has begun.

Today marks:
-35 and 5 for me and Miles
-2 days until my first babe is 21 months. For all the month haters... He is almost 2. Wha?!

The crying has begun. The flood of emotion. The overwhelming thankfulness in my heart has started pouring out of my face.

I can't sing a song about God's goodness, strength, love, mercy, grace, Only Son, provision, deliverance.....okay I can't sing about God at all with out crying. I'm there. In that place with the Lord. The place where I just want to be near him. The place where I am continually expressing my thankfulness for 2 babies and a pretty great husband. The place where I am constantly needing him and his reassurance for labor, birth, and motherhood. The place where he hears a lot about my fears and my weaknesses resulting in gratefulness for his strength, yoke, and love.

Sunday night Hank woke up a few hours into the night. I was still awake and gladly went in there and held that baby and rocked and rocked. And cried and cried. I held him on top of a very large belly and stroked his smooth skin. He really does have the softest skin. It is the craziest thing in the world to love your firstborn as much as you do and to love your unborn just as much. Even crazier to not want divide yourself for your toddler but have great anticipation to meet this baby you've been so connected with for the last 9 months. I just want them to love each other and be obsessed and the best play mates. I feel like I already know Miles and I am just waiting to introduce him to Will and Hank.

I am also entering that place where I want to go into hiding with my little family. Okay, a few occasional, close friends and family will be fun. But I feel so in tune with the way God made me as a childbearing woman. I start feeling the need to "nest down" and stay put. With Hank I only wanted to be around other people that valued birth, breastfeeding, and respecting the postpartum period/newborn. I'm already dreading the loads of perfume people will wear and then ask to hold my baby. Woosah. Anyway, ready or not, here we go. Family of 3 to a family of 4. Will wants me to be a stay at home mom/small farmer who makes my own butter and cheese. Who's milk are we talking about using here? Hahaha. Looking forward to what the Lord has in store.

33 weeks and 20 months

Miles:

1.soldier

2.gracious

You finally have a name. Well, a first name. I wanted to name you after my paw paw just like I wanted to name Hank after him but your dad wins again and I still don't have a child named after the man that is in my opinion one of the strongest men to have lived on this earth. However I love that your name means soldier and gracious. I pray that you will be a soldier for Christ. That you will choose to serve Him only in a world that teaches you to serve yourself and all other idols. That you will fight for your relationship with the Lord and that you will fight for the girl of your dreams one day and pursue her daily. 3 weeks to a month ago you finally moved off of my sciatica and I feel like a new woman. This happened after a great adjustment at our chiropractor (Dr. Kelle Edwards) and a prenatal massage from our doula, Nancy Mackransky. Coincidence? I don't know, I'm praising God regardless. You are very active and taking up a lot of space. You have found my ribs a few times and move when you hear your brother in the middle of the night or first thing in the morning. I hope you two love each other as much as I love each of you. I can't wait to see who you will look like, another Nunnelly baby or maybe a Ginn? Hairy like your brother? Widow's peak? Defined eyebrows? If you don't have dark hair I will be shocked. I told your dad the other day that I have felt so loved and romanced by God's faithfulness in my walk with him. I was nervous to have another baby while your brother was so young. I told the Lord and your dad about my reservations and simply said that I would like God to give us a baby when he wanted us to have one, Boom! Meet Miles :). Later in pregnancy I was nervous about birthing you in the midst of the pain I was already in, Boom! You moved off of my nerve. Now I find myself nervous about how I will divide time, show love, and care for 2 under 2. And the Lord whispered to me, "Maggie, I am faithful, what makes you think I won't be faithful in the future? I have already been faithful in the past." His timing is perfect, his ways are wondrous. I don't deserve any love especially the type of love he shows me. So personal, so on time, so true. 

Hank Ginn:

You are really growing up. You say so much these days. You want to fish every day. You love to ride anything; wagon, stroller, tractor, lawn mower, riding toys. You have found a new love for your daddy since school has been out. He has taken you to do all kinds of fun things while I work on Tues and Thurs. You love to eat oatmeal or cereal for breakfast and enjoy sharing an egg on toast with me. We take our vitamins every morning with a little OJ and you are quick to remind me if I forget. These days you call me "Ma" and I love it. It puts me in touch with my Little House on the Prairie days. "Ma, 'mon!" "Ma, up, play." Your grandpap bought a gator for you and the cousins to ride. He has a video of you driving it for over 10 minutes ASLEEP. It is hilarious. You talk about Nola Brees quite a lot. You love shoes and associate them with going outside. You love bugs and picking them up. You don't sit down and you run every where you go. You are still 22 lbs because of that. You eat and burn it off and eat again and repeat. Sometimes you sleep all night and some nights you're up 4-5 times. Yay for a mom who will never sleep again! When I ask you where your baby brother is sometimes you point to my belly and sometimes you point to yours. You will kiss baby brother sometimes and love pointing out babies in public. I adore you and all the goofy things you do. I don't know where the last year has gone and can't believe you are closer to two than you are one. I love watching you grow but want you to stay little forever at the same time. I hope you always lock arms with me when we sit side by side. Praying for you to be a great example for your brother. Love you baby. Looking forward to spending every day with you and your brother.

Cuz I had the best day with you, today.

What makes you feel rich, in love, beautiful, creative, inspired, or full? Or all of the previous listed at one time? This post is for me. Today was one of those days I want to remember for a long time. The perfect summer day. I wore running shorts, a maternity tank top, no make up, hair in a pony tail and I felt like the most beautiful woman alive. Cocky? Nah, just living it up in Wellington at 33 weeks pregnant.

Here is how the day went:

4:30am Will brings Hank in our room and tells me to nurse him, do my magic and get him to go back to sleep. So Hank had milk and then we all slept until 7.

7am Hank and I ate pancakes and he took his probiotic and dha and I took my dha and prenatal. (He loves taking our vitamins together). 

7:30am Hank and I take Will pancakes and oj in bed. Then I vacuum. Hank "helps".

Some time around 8:30am Jordan comes over and we go on a nice walk filled with lots of baby and birth talk. My fav! Then we pick some bitter lettuce-sorry Jordan- and some delicious basil. Jordan usually leaves me feeling encouraged and energized. She makes me want to be better just by being her.

Around 10/11am I start preparing lunch because our doula is coming over to dream about our birth. I make Hank some lunch and Will puts him down for a nap.

12pm Nancy (our doula) shows up. We have the BEST conversations over lunch and then over doula contracts on the couch. Nancy shares her testimony with Will since he had never heard her story. 

After lunch we all headed outside to feed the cows some watermelon rinds and look at the garden. We talked a lot about Nancy's life in Guatemala, milking cows, and growing gardens. 

Before Nancy left Hank showed her his baseball skills and we gave Her some squash and zucchini. 

After Nancy left Hank did his favorite thing... Skinny dipping in his tiny pool and Will and I sat poolside and had wonderful conversation. Per Hank's request we took our rods to the pond for some fishing (I caught 4 bream for the record). This is when I told Will that I felt like the richest and most beautiful girl in the world: just fishing in the pond with my big belly, my adorable son, and the man who got me pregnant. No rush, no worries, just us. In that moment I was sure that everyone in the world wanted to be me. Probably not but that was how it al l felt as the sun went down and the clouds rolled in. 

Around 7pm I found Hank in the tub with Will's head hanging over and Hank pouring water over Will's head. Too precious. I brushed teeth with Hank, clipped finger and toe nails, and he joined me in singing "this little light of mine".

Sometimes you get in the routine or rush of life and forget just how much you love the ones you love most. Today I was reminded of how much love the Father has for me, me for Him, and my heart swelled just looking at my Hank, husband, and my unborn but very active and alive baby boy. I am so thankful for people like Nancy who inspire me and push me to be better. She has invested so much in me and I can't thank her enough. I love talking with people who have met Jesus and have never been the same since. It is beautiful and inviting and authentic. So thankful to have her assist Will and I in birth. 

Happy Summer, Happy June. Cheers to July and a newborn to nurse and wear. 

Mother's Day for me.

For a girl who never dreamed of having a career. Only a hard working, handsome man, babies, laundry, cooking, and baking.... Mother's Day is my holiday. Valentine's is cool, I want to be celebrated for being Will's best friend and lover but Mother's Day is even better because it is something my husband gave to me and mothering is a gift to him and our babies. By being a mother and taking care of our babies, our home, and errands he is free to live and work. He isn't bogged down by the stresses of home and work and gets to enjoy being a dad...most of the time ;). There are days that I get overwhelmed. I can't lie. You know, you'll have that to do list and nothing gets done because you spent the entire day disciplining your child or holding them or playing outside because it feels like it is against the law to be inside when there is 0% humidity and it's 70 degrees. You feel like you have hit the lotto and been robbed all in the same day. Lotto because playing outside with your baby is what your entire life's dreams were made of. Robbed because your husband is about to be home and the laundry is piled high waiting to be folded, the dishes are sitting on the table from lunch, and supper hasn't been started yet. Oops. I say all of that jumbled mess to say... My presents are on my hip and in my belly. I am living my dream. Yes, there are hard days but even at the end of those days I am still so grateful to be able to have and raise children. They humble me, bring me to Jesus, and make me laugh. They make me appreciate the simple life more than I even did before. They have slowed me down. I don't get pedicures, haircuts, new clothes, or nights out with friends or Will much but I really don't mind. I love games of soccer in the living room, shooting basketball, and playing baseball. I love 6 stroller or wagon rides a day. I love breastfeeding and the thought that my body can nourish one and now 2 other people. I love feeling those late night kicks from my baby on the inside and snuggling the toddler under my arm for the last hour of morning sleep. I love watching my husband wrestle with H, take him on tractor and lawn mower rides, and work in the garden. I love having Hank help me cook and see the anticipation on his face, just waiting to taste the finished product. I love wearing my babies and my new nephew, how do people who don't baby wear grocery shop?? I love seeing the world through my toddler's eyes. His amazement of motorcycles, the moon, birds, barking dogs,the train. It makes me appreciate so much that would normally go unnoticed. So, thank you Will for working hard so I can stay home (for the most part) and soak up every bit of my boys' childhood. I have been priveledged to share in the childhoods of so many children I love and it is only fitting to carry that tradition on with our own. So happy Mother's Day to me. 

A Hank Funny

I have been working with Hank on listening and obeying. For those of you who think he's too young.. just come over and watch as he looks at me while doing the exact thing he knows he shouldn't. So a little tid bit of a normal disciplining conversation goes like this: "Hank, do not throw rocks at Princess again. We have to be kind to our animals. Plus she has a hurt leg." Hank throws rocks. I look at him. He immediately says, "Yes ma'am."

We obviously have a ways to go. I usually discipline him and then tell him, "When mama tells you not to do something you need to listen and obey. Yes ma'am?" And he repeats, "Yes ma'am." So I guess he thinks as long as he says "yes ma'am" it excuses the unwanted behavior.

That boy, he makes me laugh. Will calls me a sour patch kid and I'm pretty sure Hank inherited the sour patch gene. I could just squeeze him, regardless.

19 months and 27 weeks

Hank Ginn
- Last week you gained another cousin. Ridge Singleton! You thought we were on vacation while in middle Georgia. You adore Rowan and he loves you. Your love for Paige went to new heights while on this trip too.
- You have been very picky about the books we read before bed as of late.
- You love to answer questions with "no". You are capable of saying no ma'am and no sir and mama has been enforcing that hardcore the last few days.
- I caught a few blue gill brim for you out of our pond on Sunday afternoon and it amazes me how you just sit and wait. You still don't like touching the fish.
- You love to drive your daddy's truck in the drive way when he gets home from work. You really love working the blinkers and windshield wipers.
- You are weighing in at a whopping 22 lbs still.
- Your farmers tan is the cutest.
- I asked you where your baby brother was and you pointed at your belly. ha!
- You repeat everything.
- When you hear a bird or someone coming through the door you say, "Hear it?" and it is adorable. You also say, "see it?".
- You love pushing your push mower, riding your train, tricycle, balance bike, stroller, wagon and riding the lawn mower and tractor with daddy.
- We had a new calf on Sunday and you are fascinated by her, her mama, and her mama milk.
- You nurse a couple times a day and maybe once during the night if you happen to wake up.
- Other than milk you only drink water.

18 months and 23 weeks

Hank the Tank

Eating mama's spaghetti all by yourself :)

A year and a half? Already? You were just born, I just labored for 6 hours and birthed you into our world, our family.
-You are so busy. The only time you sit down is for breakfast, sometimes lunch, and dinner.
-You have gained inches but not many ounces.
-You eat all day long and wake up saying "KNAAACK"! You even like eggs now thanks to WaHo and Uncle Scott.
-You grab my hand to hold when walking outside sometimes and I melt.
-You hold hands with us when we pray over meals and say "may-men" at the end and sometimes prematurely if the prayer has a lot to pray about that day. I hope that you won't ever lose interest in talking to God.
-You love to be outside. All day long. You would ride to GA in your radio flyer if someone would pull you.
-You love Turner's chickens, ducks, and horses and could watch them for 30 minutes straight. You have no fear when it comes to animals. You fed a horse an apple slice last week (the wrong way) and kept your fingers. Sneaky little thing.
-Daddy took us to the Birmingham Zoo yesterday and stayed for 3 hours. You were completely engaged the entire time. You wanted all the birds to sit on your arm. You are very good at all of your animals noises especially the cat, bear (your dad's favorite to hear you do), chicken, lion, elephant, and dog.
-I don't want to type this because I don't want this to end but you have been sleeping so great for the last few weeks. 7-7:30pm till 6 or 7am. Usually only waking once in the night. I don't even mind the one time because I miss you at the point anyway.
-Your favorite books right now are "The Little Engine That Could", "I Love You, Stinky Face", "Fox in Socks", "Hop on Pop", and "Is Your Mama a Llama?". We usually read those plus a few others before bed every night.
-You separate all crackers and sandwiches. No one taught you. It's messy but whatever.
-You eat the peel off the apple first. If the apple is peeled you won't eat it. Daddy's boy.
-Two Sundays ago you were so mad I left you in the nursery you tried to bite Jaima and Kate. I don't even know what to say about that.


Hank,
  Some days you are so fun to be around. You are adventurous and love to run free outside. I love kissing your smooshy cheeks and your wet lips. Some days you wear me out. You are strong willed and discipline doesn't phase you when you have your mind set on something. I am reading "Bringing Up Boys" by Dr. James Dobson and it has been such a wonderful tool for me during this stage. He is helping me know what your future needs to look like and affirming what I'm doing right and helping me in areas where I struggle. I tell you that you have a brother in my belly a lot but you don't get it. I hope you love him from the start. You are such a joy. I love watching you run and play and think and laugh. I pray that you will really know Christ at a young age. That you will be a strong man unaffected by the culture around you that wants to dumb down your masculinity. I hope you will fight for what is right, no matter the cost. I love you baby.

23 Weeks

-No name still.
-Lots of movement, especially when we lay down at night. We can see and feel you now.
-Looking forward to your birth. We sang that song with the lyrics, "Christ Alone, Cornerstone, Weak made strong, In the Savior's Love" at church on Sunday. I just cried. Christ's strength in my weakness was more real than ever during Hank's birth and I just know that this time will be just as special.
-I need to buy a swing, bouncy seat, diaper bag and co sleeper for you. On my dream wish list is also: a tank top that I can wear you in and nurse you since this summer will be hot, more Bumgenius 4.0s for when you outgrow my newborn system, a minivan so we can fit 2 babies, a stroller, and groceries all at once! ha.
-I want to put another rod in the closet you and Hank will share and re-do the 2 bathrooms that are in desperate need of updating and lovin'. Dreamers can dream.
-When I have a quiet moment to myself I dream about what you will look like. Will you look like your brother? Or maybe your dad? You will be perfection, I know that.
-I read to you and Hank a lot. Perks of being #2!

I love you baby. I can't wait to hold you in my arms, nurse you, and wear you. You will adore your brother. You will think he is the best and you will probably walk a lot sooner so you can keep up with him and his adventures. I can't wait to see your daddy hold you and do laps around the house to get you to sleep. I can't wait to be alone with you for midnight feedings. Just the calm and you and me. Dr. J is the best. I am so thankful for his evidence based routine practices. One day you will thank him too, because birth matters! And he is devoted to us having a beautiful birth. I cry thinking about you because now I know what it feels like to hold a new baby that is mine. I already know how much I love you and will love you. It's amazing really. Praying for you, your growth, development, salvation. Praying for your birth, our nursing relationship, and your sleeping habits ;) Love you!

Hi, I'm Your Postpartum Doula

How can I pamper you?

At the age of 27 I have found one of the places I truly believe God wants me to be his hands and feet for the long haul. And let me tell you, this is a wonderful place to be. The place where you know he has had in mind all these years of wondering and wandering. Heartache and questioning. Trial and error. Classroom and real life. Freedom and responsibility. I am here. I still have other passions that I want to see him glorified through but I am so excited to be on this journey. I believe that is why we have passion; to give glory to him. To use it for the kingdom, to see hearts changed, to bring hope and shine light on the restoration that Christ brings.

I can now see that my obsession with Health Occupations in high school was not because I was supposed to be a nurse (like I thought when I was 17) but because I am a lover of the Creator of the human body. I am amazed at the way a woman's body nourishes a baby (or babies) in the womb, births that baby, and then gives that baby the perfect food for the first years of life. I love to see women empowered by tapping into the strength the Holy Spirit has to offer. I love to see what looks like sacrifice when women makes choices for their young. I love to see the mother inside awaken and move mountains. I love to see husbands look at their wives in amazement of her beauty, strength, intuition, and faith in the One who knitted her together.

I can now see that working for Holly Ross for those years in sunny San Diego were more valuable than I could ever know. I learned so much from her and a lot of the time it wasn't her words. It was her life, her day to day, her choices, the way she parented and mothered. She made me question the routineness of health care. She taught me that my mother's intuition can be trusted before a big pharma company. She taught me the value of nutrition and exercise. Those babies taught me that the days might be long but the love is huge and that we will make it and that a better day is around the corner. They taught me that babies don't have to cry, that they will show you as much trust and respect as you show them. Crazy, right? ;)

I can now see that not only did the Lord want me to show his love in San Diego and witness people being saved but he also wanted to show me excellent leadership. He wanted me to possess those same qualities. He gave me mentors to teach me.

This new journey of becoming a CAPPA certified postpartum doula gives me the same excitement that moving across the country to church plant Elevate gave me. With that excitement comes fear also just like it did with the cross country move. Do I have what it takes? Will I be enough? Have I bitten off more than I can chew? The word doula actually means servant. I LOVE that. I can't think of any better way for me to serve and be Jesus than to love on mamas, babies, and their families. A day spent helping a mama with breastfeeding, doing her dishes, playing with her older children, wearing her baby while she rests... this, this all sounds heavenly to me. And to get paid to pamper? Even better. I hope my children will learn the importance of mother infant bonding, of serving each other in all seasons of life and that my boys will be phenomenal fathers. They do have a pretty great earthly example. If the Lord gives me a daughter I hope she will be the one making choices about her body. Not a doctor she sees for 20 minutes once a month. I hope she trusts the Lord with her bank account, her body, her children, and her everything. I hope that I can be that example for her. Long way to go.... This is just the beginning and I should be completely certified by March of 2017 but hopefully sooner. I am just so thankful and blessed to be where he wants me to be. To have that passion and fire. My passion for postpartum doula work has already had a positive impact on my relationship with Will and Hank. I am so excited to be a member of an association that is dedicated to evidence based care and continuing to change their curriculum based on new discoveries.

Cheers to love, babies, pregnancy, the fourth trimester, changing the postpartum period for women in the USA, passion, journey, and knowing what I want to be when I grow up!!

{Almost} 17 Months

-In a week you will be 17 months. Almost a year and a half? Really?! 

-You still weigh around 21-22 lbs. I need to see how many inches you've grown because some things that fit at the beginning of fall are now high waters. 

-The last couple of weeks you've been nursing 1-2 times a day and 1-2 times at night. A month ago you nursed every 2 hours. This stage of toddlerhood is full of phases.

-You still only drink mama's milk and water. You will eat almost anything. You wake up asking for a "nak" (snack). Or "betbest" (breakfast). Earlier in this pregnancy I liked pancakes for breakfast and so did you (no syrup).

- You have almost mastered the art of jumping and will say jump!

- The first thing you want to do when Daddy gets home is shoot basketball. He walks in and you say "ball!". You can make it off the backboard, shoot 2 balls at once (and make both), and say "bick" (brick) when you miss.

-You had your first haircut a couple of weeks ago. 

-You are fitting nicely in your 12-18 month clothes with some 12 months being too small and some 18 month shirt sleeves being too long.

- On a good day you sleep 3 hours on the couch and wake twice during the night.

- You say sooooo much now. "Ganpap", "Pay", "MawMaw", "down", "GiGi", "Nana", "Oda", "JayJay", "Cat", you can call the cows, anndddd that is all I can remember at the moment.

- You don't like being dropped off at the church nursery but talk about Nola Brees- "Bees".

- You will talk to anyone unless they talk to you first.

- You fiddle your hands when we go somewhere new until you get comfortable. It's adorable.

- You like to play soccer in the living room with your daddy and me. 

- You love a good grilled cheese.

You test me more than anyone else. I still love you though. Every day is a joy with you. I am so thankful to be home with you for the most part. I love that we do everything together. Looking forward to warmer weather so we can play outside. Praying that you will know the Lord early on and desire him. I want you to use your strong will to be a leader and a world changer. Love you baby. 

17 weeks with Baby Boy #2

-I can feel you move now! Such sweet reminders during the day that you are alive and active.
-When I think about you and Hank together my heart just swells. I am so happy that you two will have one another.
-Your dad and I cannot find a name we both like. I'm not surprised. I want to call you by your name.
-Your brother is loud and gets redirected a lot. I'm wondering how all of my frustrations will effect you. Or is it affect?
-My mind is all over the place. I can't remember how to spell basic words, I forget the names of people I've known forever. I constantly feel like I'm forgetting something.
-Your dad turned 29 yesterday. How are we that old?
-The Lord is really growing me during this season. I'm in a study on Wednesday nights and we are reading and discussing "The Me I Want To Be" by John Ortwell. Cheryl Henegar is teaching and she is such an encouragement to my heart. I am hungrier than ever to be who Christ wants me to be. I also am struggling more than ever to die to myself daily, or minute by minute. I need to give grace more freely and I need to tap into my inner "The Maggie Nunnelly" more. "The Maggie Nunnelly" as in I don't care what you think or who you are, I'm gonna do what the Lord has called me to do. Love it or leave it.
-This month I will complete my Post Partum Doula training. I have 2 years to complete my certification with CAPPA. I'm looking forward to loving on mamas, babies, and daddies. I look forward to wrapping you up or carrying you on my back, nursing you, and helping these women embrace the confidence within them. So excited to be taking steps in this direction. Praying the Lord will bless me in this calling and passion and that I will always make him the reason for it all.
-I love you, little child. I can't wait to hold you in my arms. I can't wait for you and Hank to meet. You are gonna love your daddy. Him and Hank were shooting hoops last night. I can't even explain my love for you. I can't imagine giving my son. I can't imagine going to the top of the mountain like Abraham and Isaac. I want to know God like that. And honestly, that is scary to my human heart. I want you to know him like that too and I hope that you will see it in me and desire Him more.

It's another BOY!

I think the nausea is on it's way out the door. YAY
I have lost 5 lbs. Just like I did with Hank.
Can't wait to talk baby names with your dad. Not that we will easily agree on one. Gotta start somewhere.
I have cooked a handful of times since Thanksgiving. I guess I'm about to vamp back up. Your brother sure does like when I cook.

Today during our u/s you were stretching your legs, putting your hands by your face, and being a little boy and touching your parts.

I can't believe we are already in the 2nd trimester. 

Sooo looking forward to Nancy's healthy pregnancy class.

I cried during our u/s. I just know the moment that is ahead of me. I know the love that will flood my heart. I know how you will feel on my chest for the first time. 

Your cousin will be 3 months older. Can't wait to meet him/her in April!!

Love you little baby!

Nursing a Toddler

This is for me. And only me. Hank won't ever really care about this part of his life. I don't know, maybe he will. Maybe he will thank me for decreasing both of our risks for disease and cancer and will be so healthy and grateful? If he never cares, never says thank you? Well, it doesn't change a thing for me.

I have always known I wanted to breastfeed. I loved dolls, babies, playing house. I started babysitting around the age of 5 when I lived in Greenville, SC. Mind you, the parents would be outside doing yard work but it felt like a legit babysitting job to me and I took it VERY seriously. I guess I'm trying to say that even when I was younger and didn't know what a GMO was, didn't fear the bad things that come from all the plastic use in our lives, and wasn't a recycling Nazi, I still knew I wanted what was natural for me and my babies.

Fast forward >>>> I am now 27 years old and nursing my almost 16 month old baby. He has a mouth full of teeth including all four canines that finally broke the skin. He will try to repeat most words I say to him. He is beginning to realize that life exists outside of his little world, enjoying playing with other kids his age and following big kids around with a look in his eyes that says he's longing to be big. WAIT! Not so fast my little nursling. There is plenty of time to be big. I always knew I wanted to breastfeed... but for how long? Well the first year of course. After that? I have no idea. It's a crazy thing when you see other one year old babies and they are so "big" and "grown". Then you have your own 1 year old and you realize that while they have grown so much over the past year they are still so little. Hank didn't start eating food until he was 10 months old. The thought of him not needing the very milk that alone (as far as nutrition goes) helped him grow and meet milestones up until 2 months before his first birthday was wild to me! Even at 10 months he was relying on "muk" for most of his caloric and nutritional intake while having a ball trying new solids. So on we nursed.

I am way more educated and informed than I was when we were starting out on this breastfeeding journey in September of 2013. Now I know that the WHO recommends breastfeeding for the first 2 years of life. Two years is the new goal. We might make it, we might not. A lot of emphasis is placed on the benefits of breastfeeding for babies. What about mamas? Breastfeeding has been such a gift for me. I am choking up as I type and reread the last sentence. All of that oxytocin. All of that love and satisfaction that is so present when we gaze into one another's eyes while we relax, reconnect, or drift off to sleep.

I'm deep in the breastfeeding community around here and usually stay up on "breastfeeding in the news". You don't always hear the positive stories. A lot of times it is about the lack of support from family, friends, or the public. Well, my dad's mom is the only woman in my family in her generation and the generation after her that breastfed. My mom tried with no success and we now believe that we probably all had tongue and or lip ties that hindered her. My maw maw and my mom have always been very supportive. My sister and cousin also breastfed. I don't ever hear, "When are you gonna stop that?" or, "Don't you think he's too old?". Nope, just love, encouragement and support. I haven't ever had a negative experience while nursing in public (NIP). There are some women in my life who made comments that were not supportive but I wouldn't take their advice on how to tie my shoe so I honestly haven't ever dwelt on them. My husband hasn't ever made a comment suggesting we should end that aspect of our relationship. I am very blessed. I am very thankful. I hope to encourage mamas from now until the day I die. I want them to feel empowered and strong. I want them to bond with their babies and beat all odds.

One day a couple of weeks ago Hank asked for "muk" while signing for it at the same time (as he always does). So I sat down on the couch and he so excitedly climbed in my lap. I turned on some TV and was relaxing while that precious baby was relaxing in his happy place. All is calm and some upbeat music comes from the TV and my 15 month old looks up at me while latched on and starts dancing and grooving in my lap. A moment like that is worth more than I could ever afford to pay.

Last week Hank got a stomach bug. It was pitiful. He did have it made though. He stayed in my arms all day and puked and slept. Pretty much picture perfect sick day if you have to be sick. He was so uninterested in food and drink. Rightly so. He did ask me for some milk though. I agreed and started unsnapping my bra and the grin and chuckle he let out made me grin. I offered and he all of a sudden said, "No, Mama." I know how he felt right then. So sick and so not in the mood to do anything but knowing you have to do something, eat something, in order to climb out of the funk. He changed his mind and nursed and I was reminded again for possibly the 3,000th time of why we still nurse. You never know when that virus might be lurking around the corner. Thankfully I had all he needed to keep him hydrated and get him back to health. Thank you Lord for your great design and plan. Hank went on to share the virus with me and his dad. I'll just go ahead and say that Hank had the mildest case and I was tempted to use my milk to get us back to health too.

Cheers to liquid gold and all those who benefit from it, young and old. Cancer patients, babies, preemies, and toddlers. Our cats, my zits, my cuts, and burns. Our eye infections, ear infections, and stuffy noses. Liquid gold, liquid love, liquid magic truth be told.