It has begun.

Today marks:
-35 and 5 for me and Miles
-2 days until my first babe is 21 months. For all the month haters... He is almost 2. Wha?!

The crying has begun. The flood of emotion. The overwhelming thankfulness in my heart has started pouring out of my face.

I can't sing a song about God's goodness, strength, love, mercy, grace, Only Son, provision, deliverance.....okay I can't sing about God at all with out crying. I'm there. In that place with the Lord. The place where I just want to be near him. The place where I am continually expressing my thankfulness for 2 babies and a pretty great husband. The place where I am constantly needing him and his reassurance for labor, birth, and motherhood. The place where he hears a lot about my fears and my weaknesses resulting in gratefulness for his strength, yoke, and love.

Sunday night Hank woke up a few hours into the night. I was still awake and gladly went in there and held that baby and rocked and rocked. And cried and cried. I held him on top of a very large belly and stroked his smooth skin. He really does have the softest skin. It is the craziest thing in the world to love your firstborn as much as you do and to love your unborn just as much. Even crazier to not want divide yourself for your toddler but have great anticipation to meet this baby you've been so connected with for the last 9 months. I just want them to love each other and be obsessed and the best play mates. I feel like I already know Miles and I am just waiting to introduce him to Will and Hank.

I am also entering that place where I want to go into hiding with my little family. Okay, a few occasional, close friends and family will be fun. But I feel so in tune with the way God made me as a childbearing woman. I start feeling the need to "nest down" and stay put. With Hank I only wanted to be around other people that valued birth, breastfeeding, and respecting the postpartum period/newborn. I'm already dreading the loads of perfume people will wear and then ask to hold my baby. Woosah. Anyway, ready or not, here we go. Family of 3 to a family of 4. Will wants me to be a stay at home mom/small farmer who makes my own butter and cheese. Who's milk are we talking about using here? Hahaha. Looking forward to what the Lord has in store.