It has begun.

Today marks:
-35 and 5 for me and Miles
-2 days until my first babe is 21 months. For all the month haters... He is almost 2. Wha?!

The crying has begun. The flood of emotion. The overwhelming thankfulness in my heart has started pouring out of my face.

I can't sing a song about God's goodness, strength, love, mercy, grace, Only Son, provision, deliverance.....okay I can't sing about God at all with out crying. I'm there. In that place with the Lord. The place where I just want to be near him. The place where I am continually expressing my thankfulness for 2 babies and a pretty great husband. The place where I am constantly needing him and his reassurance for labor, birth, and motherhood. The place where he hears a lot about my fears and my weaknesses resulting in gratefulness for his strength, yoke, and love.

Sunday night Hank woke up a few hours into the night. I was still awake and gladly went in there and held that baby and rocked and rocked. And cried and cried. I held him on top of a very large belly and stroked his smooth skin. He really does have the softest skin. It is the craziest thing in the world to love your firstborn as much as you do and to love your unborn just as much. Even crazier to not want divide yourself for your toddler but have great anticipation to meet this baby you've been so connected with for the last 9 months. I just want them to love each other and be obsessed and the best play mates. I feel like I already know Miles and I am just waiting to introduce him to Will and Hank.

I am also entering that place where I want to go into hiding with my little family. Okay, a few occasional, close friends and family will be fun. But I feel so in tune with the way God made me as a childbearing woman. I start feeling the need to "nest down" and stay put. With Hank I only wanted to be around other people that valued birth, breastfeeding, and respecting the postpartum period/newborn. I'm already dreading the loads of perfume people will wear and then ask to hold my baby. Woosah. Anyway, ready or not, here we go. Family of 3 to a family of 4. Will wants me to be a stay at home mom/small farmer who makes my own butter and cheese. Who's milk are we talking about using here? Hahaha. Looking forward to what the Lord has in store.

33 weeks and 20 months

Miles:

1.soldier

2.gracious

You finally have a name. Well, a first name. I wanted to name you after my paw paw just like I wanted to name Hank after him but your dad wins again and I still don't have a child named after the man that is in my opinion one of the strongest men to have lived on this earth. However I love that your name means soldier and gracious. I pray that you will be a soldier for Christ. That you will choose to serve Him only in a world that teaches you to serve yourself and all other idols. That you will fight for your relationship with the Lord and that you will fight for the girl of your dreams one day and pursue her daily. 3 weeks to a month ago you finally moved off of my sciatica and I feel like a new woman. This happened after a great adjustment at our chiropractor (Dr. Kelle Edwards) and a prenatal massage from our doula, Nancy Mackransky. Coincidence? I don't know, I'm praising God regardless. You are very active and taking up a lot of space. You have found my ribs a few times and move when you hear your brother in the middle of the night or first thing in the morning. I hope you two love each other as much as I love each of you. I can't wait to see who you will look like, another Nunnelly baby or maybe a Ginn? Hairy like your brother? Widow's peak? Defined eyebrows? If you don't have dark hair I will be shocked. I told your dad the other day that I have felt so loved and romanced by God's faithfulness in my walk with him. I was nervous to have another baby while your brother was so young. I told the Lord and your dad about my reservations and simply said that I would like God to give us a baby when he wanted us to have one, Boom! Meet Miles :). Later in pregnancy I was nervous about birthing you in the midst of the pain I was already in, Boom! You moved off of my nerve. Now I find myself nervous about how I will divide time, show love, and care for 2 under 2. And the Lord whispered to me, "Maggie, I am faithful, what makes you think I won't be faithful in the future? I have already been faithful in the past." His timing is perfect, his ways are wondrous. I don't deserve any love especially the type of love he shows me. So personal, so on time, so true. 

Hank Ginn:

You are really growing up. You say so much these days. You want to fish every day. You love to ride anything; wagon, stroller, tractor, lawn mower, riding toys. You have found a new love for your daddy since school has been out. He has taken you to do all kinds of fun things while I work on Tues and Thurs. You love to eat oatmeal or cereal for breakfast and enjoy sharing an egg on toast with me. We take our vitamins every morning with a little OJ and you are quick to remind me if I forget. These days you call me "Ma" and I love it. It puts me in touch with my Little House on the Prairie days. "Ma, 'mon!" "Ma, up, play." Your grandpap bought a gator for you and the cousins to ride. He has a video of you driving it for over 10 minutes ASLEEP. It is hilarious. You talk about Nola Brees quite a lot. You love shoes and associate them with going outside. You love bugs and picking them up. You don't sit down and you run every where you go. You are still 22 lbs because of that. You eat and burn it off and eat again and repeat. Sometimes you sleep all night and some nights you're up 4-5 times. Yay for a mom who will never sleep again! When I ask you where your baby brother is sometimes you point to my belly and sometimes you point to yours. You will kiss baby brother sometimes and love pointing out babies in public. I adore you and all the goofy things you do. I don't know where the last year has gone and can't believe you are closer to two than you are one. I love watching you grow but want you to stay little forever at the same time. I hope you always lock arms with me when we sit side by side. Praying for you to be a great example for your brother. Love you baby. Looking forward to spending every day with you and your brother.

Cuz I had the best day with you, today.

What makes you feel rich, in love, beautiful, creative, inspired, or full? Or all of the previous listed at one time? This post is for me. Today was one of those days I want to remember for a long time. The perfect summer day. I wore running shorts, a maternity tank top, no make up, hair in a pony tail and I felt like the most beautiful woman alive. Cocky? Nah, just living it up in Wellington at 33 weeks pregnant.

Here is how the day went:

4:30am Will brings Hank in our room and tells me to nurse him, do my magic and get him to go back to sleep. So Hank had milk and then we all slept until 7.

7am Hank and I ate pancakes and he took his probiotic and dha and I took my dha and prenatal. (He loves taking our vitamins together). 

7:30am Hank and I take Will pancakes and oj in bed. Then I vacuum. Hank "helps".

Some time around 8:30am Jordan comes over and we go on a nice walk filled with lots of baby and birth talk. My fav! Then we pick some bitter lettuce-sorry Jordan- and some delicious basil. Jordan usually leaves me feeling encouraged and energized. She makes me want to be better just by being her.

Around 10/11am I start preparing lunch because our doula is coming over to dream about our birth. I make Hank some lunch and Will puts him down for a nap.

12pm Nancy (our doula) shows up. We have the BEST conversations over lunch and then over doula contracts on the couch. Nancy shares her testimony with Will since he had never heard her story. 

After lunch we all headed outside to feed the cows some watermelon rinds and look at the garden. We talked a lot about Nancy's life in Guatemala, milking cows, and growing gardens. 

Before Nancy left Hank showed her his baseball skills and we gave Her some squash and zucchini. 

After Nancy left Hank did his favorite thing... Skinny dipping in his tiny pool and Will and I sat poolside and had wonderful conversation. Per Hank's request we took our rods to the pond for some fishing (I caught 4 bream for the record). This is when I told Will that I felt like the richest and most beautiful girl in the world: just fishing in the pond with my big belly, my adorable son, and the man who got me pregnant. No rush, no worries, just us. In that moment I was sure that everyone in the world wanted to be me. Probably not but that was how it al l felt as the sun went down and the clouds rolled in. 

Around 7pm I found Hank in the tub with Will's head hanging over and Hank pouring water over Will's head. Too precious. I brushed teeth with Hank, clipped finger and toe nails, and he joined me in singing "this little light of mine".

Sometimes you get in the routine or rush of life and forget just how much you love the ones you love most. Today I was reminded of how much love the Father has for me, me for Him, and my heart swelled just looking at my Hank, husband, and my unborn but very active and alive baby boy. I am so thankful for people like Nancy who inspire me and push me to be better. She has invested so much in me and I can't thank her enough. I love talking with people who have met Jesus and have never been the same since. It is beautiful and inviting and authentic. So thankful to have her assist Will and I in birth. 

Happy Summer, Happy June. Cheers to July and a newborn to nurse and wear.