Self Reflection

Absolutely necessary.

Everyone should self reflect and evaluate on the regular. Investigate yourself and your relationships. It's the healthy thing to do. That's what Jesus does when you read his Word. He examines you and continually tweeks you, transforming you into a better wife, husband, friend, brother, neighbor, or co-worker. It's pretty rad. Give it a try. The people who love you the most should be willing to have "hard conversations" with you if you're living in darkness. Why? They care about your best interest and want to see you meet your full potential.

It may be painful. But it's worth it. I hope my friends will always be willing to call me out, regardless of how I might take it in that moment. If I'm being a bad wife. If (in the future) my kids are out of control or on the road to being uncontrollable. If I'm being a bad friend. Most importantly, if I'm misrepresenting the name of Jesus.

*If you have someone in your life that holds you accountable, thank them. If you get mad initially and later realize they were right... return to them with gratitude.


You cannot enter relationships or marriage with out dealing with your issues. It is unfair to always expect the people you love to fill the holes in your life. If you are aware of something from your past or childhood that is influencing your present life, talk to someone. Guaranteed you're not the only one. Someone has been there and can shine the light and help you out of the slump. Get with a Sunday school teacher, life group leader, pastor, parent, mentor, counselor, anyone.

We are not created to do life alone.

It takes a village.

I believe that!

Testing Nesting

Ladies and gents, hold onto your seats. I'm about to say something I, nor anyone else, thought I'd ever say.....Ready?! "I don't mind school. I actually kind of like it." I don't like taking time out of my life for school work but I like going to class and all the things I have learned this semester. Anyone need CPR? :)

I have diagnosed myself with a disorder called "testing nesting".

Symptoms: After preparing and acing a test I like to go shop. Groceries, presents, stuff for the house, something for Will, anything really. Then I like to come home and straighten up, clean, and organize. I'll do it for hours. I'll try new recipes. I'll start cleaning the oven and the fridge. I'll feed the cows. It's bizarre.

Benefits: Clean house, good food, endorphins released, animals fed. Happy mommas, happy daddies.

I believe.

in real love.

• that you work hard for.
• that gives you butterflies. gasp. even when you're married.

in fighting for that same love.

• when your spouse is "unlovable".
• when you disagree.
• when the world encourages you to move on and start over.

in Jesus.

• where real love began.
• when He romances me.
• when His love transforms my new marriage.
• when he pursues my friends and changes their lives.

in Elevate.

• real people. authentic.
• mission minded.
• incredible leadership.

in Leatherwood.

• it took a long time to find a place to serve but it was so worth it.
• real deal pastor.
• Sunday school class that has tripled in size.

in friendship.

• no matter the distance.
• no matter the season of life.

Purpose

Everyone longs for purpose right?

Now more than ever before I understand how real Hell is. I've always been aware of how real Heaven is but I haven't given Hell much thought. You know what scares me most about Hell? It's not the constant burning, the gnashing of teeth, or the worms that never die. It's being in a place with out the presence of God. Separated from Him. This world can be bad sometimes but the presence of the Lord is still here and the Holy Spirit is living inside of His people. Can you imagine being here after the Lord comes and takes His people with Him?

These thoughts have resulted in a lot of great conversations at the Ginn place. And loss of sleep.

I used to be a little embarrassed when my Paw-Paw had to make sure everyone we knew, knew the Lord and was in church. I see SO clearly now my Paw-Paw's heart. I take back the embarrassment.

Hell is real. I can't stand the thought of the ones I love most being left here after Jesus takes His people home. I can't imagine the hurt they would feel knowing that I knew Jesus and didn't share that with them.

I am very worried about the South. I think too many people that fill up church pews on Sunday won't have their names in the Book. They think it's there but their lives have no evidence of the Savior living in them. So scary. This is a major problem and something has to change.

No longer will I be apathetic.
I will live intentionally.
I don't care if people think I'm "too passionate".
I rather preach this til I die then think that I didn't use all that God had given me to advance His kingdom.

On Sunday, September 30th, my husband put his yes on the table. I am so fired up. So amazed at what God is doing in the people around me. I am so humbled that God is letting me be a part of His story. Most days I am exhausted. The best kind of exhausted in the world. Exhausted because I've given all I have. Made the most of every opportunity. I've been prayed up. I've been intentional. I've been pouring all I have to see Him be glorified. Best feeling in the world. I've gotten some strange looks. I'm sure not many understand but    I    do    not   care   anymore.

It is so wonderful to know you are in fact where God wants you. God has placed certain folks in your life for particular reasons. God is making your "ministry" clear. Ahhhh. So good. So, so good.

Greater things are yet to come, greater things are still to be done in this city.

I wish I could be in staff meeting with some people I love very much. I wish they were here or I was there to share this excitement. Love you Elevate <3 p="p">

New day.

Today is my last day of "work". For the last 6 years I have been caring for precious children on the regular. Some family, some friends, and some strangers that became family. My 3 year old hardly takes naps these days but today she did and for the first time in a while asked me to read her "2 books". I almost teared up. I told her that I would really miss her and she said, "Yeah, but it's okay because I'll still get to see you all the time!" Presh.

Also, at the end of this month JB turns 8. Soon after the girls will start kindergarten and then turn 5. How can this be?

I feel as if I'm about to be an empty nester. I have all these strange feelings. I have excitement for the (unknown) future. I have anxiety that I no longer will have any babies to love on and invest in. I have happiness that they are all so healthy and growing up to be so great. Seriously, what am I going to do?

This next phase of life is going to be so interesting. Hopefully I can handle it. Classes start Wednesday. I'll go Monday and Wednesday from 8-2pm with 5 minutes between each class. Hello high school?

Football starts next week as well. I have already noticed that "the other version" of my husband is here and the version that has been around since March is no where to be found. Lord, help me to be supportive and quiet (and if possible, send an elf to help me out until basketball is over)!

I need to write on my mirror how I am going to make all these changes "happy". Maybe if I read it every day I'll believe it and then do it!

Habits

I try to make a habit of thankfulness.

When I was in elementary school my mom bought me a journal and challenged me to write 3 things I was thankful for each day. Great idea, Mom!

Today I'm thankful for:

Coffee

Good friends

Good conversations

His plan

A special old man who stepped in when my Paw-Paw went to be with Jesus

Pickin' beans and peas with that same man
            -Slow cooking them for hours

My man roommate, his positive attitude, and world view

Fresh picked blueberries
            - In cobblers, muffins, granola bars, in a bowl of milk,  blueberry milkshakes,  with yogurt and granola, in smoothies, or by themselves.

My bling bling

Bob Goff and Donald Miller

2 munchkins watching toons on the couch
   

24 going on 19.

 I have learned SO much over the last few years. California stretched me. I grew spiritually, relationally, and learned a lot about life.

So why is it that at 24 I can be very sure of WHO I am and confident in that and yet be extremely unsure of WHAT I want to do with my life?

At 24 I am still asking myself the same questions I asked when I was 18 years old. What a shame. I would not take back the route that got me to where I am now for anything in the world. However, I would pay big money for the answers I want now about my future.

Doors have always been opened for me whether I was looking for an open door or not. I'm hoping that this theme will continue to play out in my life.


I was talking with a friend of mine (actually two friends) about how one day I will be completely believing and trusting God. The next.... an anxious mess. I believe that my core knows that the Lord will provide and take care of me but it's "me, myself, and I" that I doubt. I doubt my ability to make the right decisions and choices. That I will mess up whatever God wants to do but in all reality He'd probably like for me to chill, trust Him, and make an educated decision (unless He clearly says otherwise).

I have always been sure of 2 things.
1. The longing inside of me to be a great wife.
2. The longing inside of me to have babies and raise them to be good citizens of America and more importantly warriors for Christ.

I guess I will just have to feel my way through the rest of it. Seek to honor Him in all that I do or pursue. I just read the verse today that says to work as for the Lord and not for men.

As much as I despise being 24 and clueless as far as careers go I realize that I need to focus on what I do know and trust that God isn't going to leave me along the way. He isn't done with me yet. He has done a great work in the years between 18 and 24 and He will continue to work in me. People change careers 4 and 5 times during their lives. Some don't figure it out until they're 30. I know what I want to do with my life (being a wife and mother while ministering to those around me) I just don't know where I want my paycheck to come from.

I've been begging Jesus to come to my front door and tell me what I should do with my life and the steps I should take to get there. As far as I know He hasn't showed up yet. Thankfully He does meet with me every day as I read His word. His steadfast and true word. I wonder if He ever looks at me, smiles, and says, "Will she ever get it?" It seems like I have to be told the same thing over and over again.

So unworthy but still He loves me.

Jesus loves the little children...

and so do i.

if you were at my wedding you remember that i didn't have the traditional flower girl and ring bearer.

why?

because kids have always been a huge part of my life and i love them dearly. so i had a 10 kid parade!

there have been 2 incidents within this last month that have really captured my attention and made me thank the Lord for the little ones in my life.

here's a little about the children i love most:

my nephews: big and small. taylor, cade, and rowan. when taylor and cade were young we shared a special bond. i was young enough to play with them and old enough to take care of them. now, they are transitioning from childhood to becoming young adults. tear. rowan? he is a wild man. he is so smart and funny. my whole family loves when he comes to alabama. he lights up our lives.

jackson, vi, and elle: when i started working for the ross family jackson was 3 and the girls were 9 months old. jackson had a hard time with me at first because he missed his first love and nanny, marie. once he figured out that i didn't want to replace marie we became good buddies. he is so smart, kind, and compassionate. we used to race in the front yard, swimming pool, and down on the court. elle and vi were  the sweetest babies. i watched them learn to crawl, walk, run, use the potty, and write their names. i cherish those years and the time we had together on a daily basis.

rhett and sawyer: my best friend's boys. although rhett is little he has this deep voice that makes me smile. i used to imagine what our kids would be like and rhett and sawyer are better than i could have ever imagined.

tripp and landry: landry is my sassy little friend. she goes every where with me and talks as if she's a teenager. she and i share the same love for CFA. you never know what she might say or how she'll say it. be prepared to get a good laugh. tripp is a sports loving boy. he doesn't like toys or tv. he just wants to play outside. basketball, football, baseball; it doesn't matter, he just wants to play. he is so curious and fun to be around. i think marrying will gave me cool points with tripp. :)

naomi, elijah, jeremiah, and ava: kevin and susan's kids. when i met the campbell family jeremiah was just a tiny infant. next year he will start first grade. wow! these children bless my heart. they are total clones of their parents. i miss seeing them on a regular basis. never a dull moment at that house!

thank God for all the littles ones in my life. the second cousins and the new nieces i gained through marriage. can't imagine life with out them.

dateline

something happens when i run, walk, or hike a public trail (like torrey pines or the ladiga). i start seeing the most normal looking people as if they were subjects on this week's dateline. a tv episode in my mind. i'll see a normal man and think, "he probably has some grandkids, maybe he was a teacher, and then i'll think about his 'secret' life as a criminal or kidnapper." the funny part is i don't even watch much tv much less dateline. as a girl i guess those stories are implanted into our skulls at young ages. for good reason. john gardners are out there looking for the amber dubois and chelsea kings. random story but literally this kind of stuff plays through my head every time i'm out running or walking the pups (and carrying my pepper spray).

newly wed bliss

i guess that's what i'm experiencing. whatever it is... i like it, i love it, i want some more of it.

favorites from the last 3 weeks:

- strawberry pickin' in hokes bluff. all you can eat in the field for free!

- bonfires at night just willis and me & janie and odie. the best smores ever made. period.

- spend the night parties. every. single. night. ye-ah!

- will's love for the cooking channel. he's cooked once for me. shrimp alfredo. homemade alfredo sauce. he can watch that channel for the rest of his life if he produces delicious meals like that ^ one. 

- my gardener. i adore the fact that will has a garden every year. his dad always had one and now he is continuing the tradition with everything larry taught him. there is nothing like having free, fresh produce from your backyard (with no harmful chemicals). *another perk: having enough to share with friends and family!

- my kitchen. we have a long way to go but we've come so far already. she is up and running. providing breakfast and dinner and i LOVE using all my new kitchen tools, pots, pans, and gadgets!

- will doesn't think he's great at all. he wouldn't ever think that having a garden is even worth talking about. it wouldn't even come up in conversation that we spent some time yesterday fixing a fence in the back pasture. (i don't know many 26 year olds that can just fix a barbed wire fence!) i adore how honest and humble he is.  i can't help but notice all of those wonderful things about him and i just want to celebrate his great traits and qualities all day long. *have you thrown up yet? sorry. in the back of my mind i'm telling myself that it is good to write all these things down so that one day when he makes me ill as a rooster i can read this and remember that i did in fact marry a super hero!

- currently we have a black female pug named janie, a fawn male pug named odie, a bull named freckles, 2 mama cows named mama cows, a calf named baby cow, possibly a few cow fetuses, 2 geese and half a dozen baby geese. gooslings? also, my friend kelly's cat named baby kitty is prego with our future baby cats. every morning that mama goose and daddy goose take those babies for a swim. they are A-D-O-R-A-B-L-E. they hatched at the beginning of this week and are growing so fast. i have this weird fantasy to see a cow give birth. maybe my dream will come true soon? only time will tell.

- landry. she is a hoot. today she said, "hey, can we go to jack's cuz i really wanna biscuit?". how do you say no to that? she's pretty much my best friend in alabama {plus will and my mom}. 

- a lot of times my life feels like a movie, or maybe a country music video. one thing is for sure... i thank Jesus every day for the gift of salvation, that i will be with Him in Heaven when i die (along with people i love like paw-paw), for my hubs, and for all the things that make life so sweet. 

ninth

today is the ninth day of april. how did this happen?

#1- i'm married. it is great. the honeymoon was amazing. if you're single and reading this.... the groom is the most important part. if you have a great groom the honeymoon will be wonderful whether you're in a motel 6 in some dinky town or in ocho rios, jamaica!

#2- did i say i love being will ginn's wife?

#3- it was SO refreshing to get away from all technology. i love fb, pinterest, and reading my favorite blogs BUT time away was sooo nice. i'm still catching up on the blog posts btw.

#4- yesterday was easter. i am so thankful for the ultimate love story. 12 people were saved at elevate. so happy and yet sad this is my second easter away from everyone and sd.

#5- my wedding photographers posted a preview and our highlight film on their blog. check it out here.

#6- i tell the truth when i say that i really miss my california kids. there is an emptiness when we're apart. i really cherish the time i got to spend with jb, vi, elle, tim, and holly.

bells.

i can almost hear the wedding bells!

i am marrying will ginn THIS SATURDAY! (if he doesn't leave me at the alter)

i have to say that i am ready.

i can't say that i'm prepared. i can't say i have all the answers. i can't say i will be the perfect wife.

i can say that i am overwhelmed by the love of Jesus.

i can say that i will try to love and respect will like the Bible commands.




a few more favorites:

- the groom. yep. still my most favorite

- the temperature in alabama

- i get to see tim, holly, jackson, vi, and elle on wednesday

- i get to see bridge, bea, susan, and kevin on friday

- holly, hannah, and brittany for always being excited with me :)

- bea. she is preparing some jams for back ground music.

- ceremony music. jeremy and kristen. i am so happy jeremy is DONE with chemo!!

- this time next week i'll be in atlanta with my hubs and we'll depart for jamaica the next AM. hip hip!

- my mom and paige. they have worked very hard EVERY day. i am forever indebted. xoxo


- an incredibly fun bachelorette dinner and spend the night party last weekend. i haven't laughed that much in a LONG time.

convict

and young jeezy.


okay seriously. conviction. sometimes the Holy Spirit convicts me instantly and sometimes i'm stubborn. i try to justify why my sin is okay and i am not wrong. 


justification is stupid. i am wrong and i was wrong. the Lord is definitely disciplining me right now. i tend to get very down on myself when i fail. i don't want to talk to anyone about it and especially not God. silly, i know. God gives grace freely and he disciplines those that He loves. the first thing i should do is run to Him, ask for forgiveness and accept the new start he offers. easier said than done.


every day this week i have been writing proverbs 10:19 down TWICE. 


the new american standard bible says it like this, 

"19 When there are many words, transgression is unavoidable, But he who restrains his lips is wise." Provers 10:19


my mom (and thumper's mom) have always said, "if you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all." 


that is SO true. if what you are saying doesn't lift someone up then it's best you don't say anything at all. i have too many flaws to count. i know for sure i don't need anyone talking about them or pointing them out. unfortunately they are pretty obvious. so i'm sure that it is not beneficial to talk about the flaws in other people. 


here's a thought... by speaking of others in a not pretty light i am just exposing the ugly in my heart. YIKES.


Jesus, get it out. please. make me beautiful. forgive me and make me new. 

Rough day?

Sometimes the best thing to do after a rough day is...

go for a run? no
take a bubble bath? no
watch your favorite tv show? no


eat SEVEN chocolate chip cookies BY YOURSELF and pair it with a sparkling glass of cow's milk.

yep. sometimes you just have to. that's what we do in america. we eat cookies for dinner.

Grittin my teeth

James 1:20 NASB

for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God.

My Paw-Paw always said, "Revenge is the Lord's". No matter the situation or how he'd been wronged. I know that this is true but when someone really gets your grits it is hard to put into practice in your own life. 

I want to be covered in the righteousness of God. 

Lord,

   Make me more like you every day. I want to be better than I was yesterday. Closer to you today than any day in my past. I want to be wise and full of the love of Jesus. I want to have a teachable spirit and and intimate relationship with you. 

                           XOXO- MN

More Favorites..

about the wedding day:

#1 is still the groom. i wouldn't want to spend every single day with anyone else. here's to adventure and a lot of love :)

- the way it has brought my sisters and me closer. i mean there was plenty of frustration on saturday, but it's normal right?

- my out of town friends. kevin & susan, tim & holly, bridg & isaac, jackson, vi, and elle. people that have really helped me grow up and have shown me so much love. it is only fitting that they witness the promises made on march 24th

- my bridesmaids. for keeping me sane lately and always.

- the food and drinks. yum

- the preacher man. i hope that everyone will experience the love of Jesus on my wedding day.


i am so ready for this day to be here. and even more ready for the new life that follows. makin dinner, washin clothes, no more driving home after a date... just pullin down the covers for midnight lovin. woop woop.

right track

sometimes doing what i should do comes natural. 


like... intimate time with Jesus. 
being positive. 
staying organized. 
being hopeful.
loving people (even the ones who drive me insane)


sometimes it is an act of congress..


i'd like to think that overall i am a pretty positive person.


however,


2011 was a year slap full of change. change and i haven't always been great friends. i have gotten a little better though.


but not good enough.


end of march: 


-left san diego and moved to ohatchee, al


summer:


-new job


-got engaged!


fall:


-started school


-lost my paw paw




i have to be honest and say that there have many days full of homesickness. days where quite frankly i didn't want to leave my bed. it is very hard adjusting to a new place when your closest friends and support group are in the city you left behind. i love will and i love being engaged but no man is great enough to make the hurt and the toughness from all these major life events vanish. 


i came to a point where i had been okay for quite a while and i was doing just fine. then guess what? i unexpectedly lost the only man that has constantly told me of his love for me and expressed it to me my whole life. paw paw.


then just like that i am in this dark and awful place. it has been a struggle to be happy. a challenge to do the things i normally enjoy and love. when you lose someone you love that is the time you need your support more than ever. i don't have things here to keep me busy or friends to keep me busy or cliffs to go sit on. i do not, do not, do not like being debbie downer. i want to be positive and cheery. hard times around here... pray for my heart. pray that i can meet people in alabama that want to be my friend. that want more from life, that love Jesus, that want to glorify Him.




i want 2012 to be great. i want to be adventurous. i want to make the most of all of my time. i want to be the best wife ever to will. i cannot wait for it to be "just will and me". i want to learn new things. i want to start down a career path. i want to be happy. i want the love of Jesus to be written on my face. i want to keep an attitude of thankfulness. i want to grow.


so satan, i need you to leave my head, my room, and my relationships. thanks. BYE