right track

sometimes doing what i should do comes natural. 


like... intimate time with Jesus. 
being positive. 
staying organized. 
being hopeful.
loving people (even the ones who drive me insane)


sometimes it is an act of congress..


i'd like to think that overall i am a pretty positive person.


however,


2011 was a year slap full of change. change and i haven't always been great friends. i have gotten a little better though.


but not good enough.


end of march: 


-left san diego and moved to ohatchee, al


summer:


-new job


-got engaged!


fall:


-started school


-lost my paw paw




i have to be honest and say that there have many days full of homesickness. days where quite frankly i didn't want to leave my bed. it is very hard adjusting to a new place when your closest friends and support group are in the city you left behind. i love will and i love being engaged but no man is great enough to make the hurt and the toughness from all these major life events vanish. 


i came to a point where i had been okay for quite a while and i was doing just fine. then guess what? i unexpectedly lost the only man that has constantly told me of his love for me and expressed it to me my whole life. paw paw.


then just like that i am in this dark and awful place. it has been a struggle to be happy. a challenge to do the things i normally enjoy and love. when you lose someone you love that is the time you need your support more than ever. i don't have things here to keep me busy or friends to keep me busy or cliffs to go sit on. i do not, do not, do not like being debbie downer. i want to be positive and cheery. hard times around here... pray for my heart. pray that i can meet people in alabama that want to be my friend. that want more from life, that love Jesus, that want to glorify Him.




i want 2012 to be great. i want to be adventurous. i want to make the most of all of my time. i want to be the best wife ever to will. i cannot wait for it to be "just will and me". i want to learn new things. i want to start down a career path. i want to be happy. i want the love of Jesus to be written on my face. i want to keep an attitude of thankfulness. i want to grow.


so satan, i need you to leave my head, my room, and my relationships. thanks. BYE