I'm going to California, a place where the sun always shines....

What's worse.... being surface and distant because you don't know any better or being surface and distant because you're tired of putting yourself out there and feeling like an alien for having a real heart with real desires and real passion that cannot be contained? Stupid California. Bea's friend Mary Kay is in town. She goes to West Ga. It's so nice to have her. A real human, normal and fun. I don't hate California. It probably sounds like I do... but I don't. Sometimes I just get frustrated. I desire some kinship ya know? Hard to find depth here, it gets somewhat lonely. It will be okay though, it's all part of the experience, the learning and growing. I believe what we have brought from the south will overcome the culture here. All of this distance between me and familiarity has really brought me to realize things about life, friendships, my parents, dad especially, and myself. I think everyone should travel, see the US at least, move away from home.... even it's only for 6 months. You'll thank yourself when you see how much more well-rounded you've become. Not that I'm the greatest but I am thankful for all of these experiences. I love Jesus for putting the desire in me to do this, to be here. He's pretty rad. Last night I had a dream that I saw the biggest swell of my life. It was so intense, I almost got sucked off the cliff. I think I've rambled enough about the craziness that has been in my head lately. Holla

Heavy hearts...

Just talked to one of my small group girls. It is so hard for me to be here when one of my girls is having a hard time. I miss Midway so bad most of the time. Midway is real. My church family. I wish that I could be there for my girls. I wish I could be there to encourage them, pray for them, listen to them, love them and watch them grow. Another great thing about that group is that there was never a Wednesday night that I wasn't blessed by them. God used them in my life as a source of encouragement and blessing.

My heart. Man, it hurts. I have been privileged to have all of my issues pointed out to me like I don't already know them. I am completely aware of my issues, have admitted them and I work on them. I'm only 20 years old and have already dealt with a lot and I think I'm doing pretty good so far. Not that I'm anywhere close to perfect or normal for that fact but at least there's progress. Needless to say I miss my encouragers. I miss Marie, Mama Beck, Brian, my sm group of girls, my church family, Sapp, and so many more. I wish I had someone here who actually got me, or thinks like me or understands me or maybe cares about me. I devoted my life to see the vision of Elevate pan out and to see God move in this city. At the same time I'm only 20 and have never done anything like this before and I'm facing things I've never faced. I'm doing the best I can, I'm seeking Jesus despite popular belief, and I'm certain that the last thing I need is a discourager.

One of my greatest friends told me something along the lines of this tonight,"Maybe, God just needs to break you. He wants our brokenness and works in it." So here I am in my brokenness. I am only my Jesus' and only want to be used by him, only want to be enlightened by him. I desire growth and knowledge and freedom and love. All that needs to happen now is for me to accept it. God is good to me. So good. My provider, my secret keeper, my best friend, Almighty, never changing, loving, forgiving, just, faithful.........

And Hollie, thank you for always encouraging me. You are a great sister.

Give Thanks...

This is where my heart wants to be..... This is a picture from Thanksgiving either last year or the year before that. I took it of them by the branch down the hill at Maw-Maw's house. L-R: Kody, Taylor, Cade and Karson. My country bumpkin nephews and cousins that I love with more than all my heart!

Being away from home on the holidays is no fun. However, we went to Malibu to our friend Kaley's parents' house. The food was great and they are originally from GA so it was the closest thing to a country Thanksgiving in CA! I'm thankful for so many things and so thankful that God wants me on this journey on the West Coast. It's hard to remember to be thankful when you miss your family and going to your Maw-Maw's and playing with the nephews and cousins! But I am. I'm also thankful for the RAIN. You guessed it! It has rained 2 nights here since my last post and it rained during the day on Wednesday (I think!). It was glorious. I feel like San Diego is so much more clean now :) Yay for rain! No black Friday shopping for me. I'd rather steer clear of crazy women on their missions. I worked today from 10-6. It was delightful to sleep in and go in later than usual. Holly, Tim and Jackson went and chopped down a tree today and put it up. It smells so good and it is actually helping me get in the Christmas spirit. I'm not sure if Bea and I will have a tree this year because of limited space and a little girl named Janie so at least I can enjoy theirs 40+ hrs a week!

Happy Thanksgiving, Black Friday and Christmas is coming!!!!!!!!!!!

Down the road...

to see what life's gonna hold...
down the road.....

Kenny Chesney is the man with a plan.

So, this barrier between me and God....
Yeah, I think it's being chiseled at.
It feels great.
I don't know where Jesus and I will be going from here but this is a start and it is wonderful.

I'm so excited about Christmas. I haven't even started shopping though. I think I'm just gonna do gift cards for everyone this year because they will easily fit in my suitcase and hey, who doesn't like free money right?! I wish I could be in GA for the days leading up to Christmas. It is so hard for me to get in the spirit here. It's warm outside, everything is still green and blooming and it's California. I love warm weather don't get me wrong but there is nothing in the world like Christmas in Dixie.

It's supposed to rain tonight or tomorrow. That is so exciting considering I've only seen rain MAYBE twice here... I hope it pours. Me and my Janie girl will snuggle up and watch movies and bake break and bakes and have some milk! yum. I love the rain. Maybe not like Seattle style but a good down pour every now and then just does something to my heart.
Kenny says, "there's something sexy bout the rain". I'd agree.

Worn out

I'm so sick of this.....

I am not cool with Jesus and it's been so long. I know, you're thinking, "read your Bible, pray, go to church" blah blah blah. You're right and I try to do those things. I feel like the wall of Jericho is between me and God.

I'm tired of taking care of people. I mean don't get me wrong, it's one of my gifts and I love doing it BUT can't a girl get a freaking break every now and then. I hope being a mom is nothing like this. I hope when they are yours it makes life sweet. I wish people could get up on their own, wipe their own butts, clean up after themselves and take care of ME for once. I'm a brat, I know.

I want rest. Real rest. I want to be with my family on Thanksgiving and have more than just that day off. I want to sit in the sand at the beach and read whatever I want to read and have no where to go.



On a much better note....

Our first preview service was on Sunday. So many things went wrong... like the truck running out of gas that had all of our equipment and supplies in it, our sound didn't work until go time, a lot of confusion outside of the theatres, a sick children's director, and many other things that will go unmentioned. HOWEVER: a man who grew up catholic received Christ and wants to be baptised before our next service. We had around 70 people, if I heard right, and 8-10 kids in Elevate Kids. It was hectic none the less but it was so neat seeing God's hand in everything. Our next service is December 7th.

All I want for Christmas...

Is a real good tan. I sing that song every year and now I really am on the coast. Christmas is fast approaching and I'm still wearing tank tops and shorts. I always want to be on an island somewhere at Christmas but this year I'm really missing the chilly weather, bon fires, and hot chocolate. I'm so glad I get to come home for Christmas! I only get to be home for 5 days but 5 is def better than none.

Janie is a mess. She is such a spaz. However, if we make it this week w/o pottying in the house she will be considered house broken :) That makes me so happy. I love this crazy dog and I'm so glad I invested in getting her.

So our first preview service is one week away! Still no band!!! So, if you can, PRAY, PRAY really hard that God works a miracle and provides us with someone amazing to lead worship.

Also, my bfffff, is having a hard time right now too. So, you could pray for her too!

I'm rereading Blue Like Jazz and it's so great..... again. It takes me back to freshman year of college when I was so unhappy with where I was. Now, I'm thankful I was there and I'm thankful for the friendships that I developed there. :)

I always think of something to blog about and then when I actually sit down to do it I can't remember what it was and I just ramble on about little nothings. ha. oh well.

Have a nice weekend.

The Shack

by Wm. Paul Young is incredible. This book stole every bit of my attention on an Atlanta bound plane a month ago. I read it for 4 hours straight and cried three times. For a book to bring out that kind of emotion in me was powerful. Needless to say, go get it. Read it.

So here are a few things that stuck out to me.

"I (God speaking) don't need to punish people for sin. Sin is its own punishment, devouring you from the inside. It's not my purpose to punish it; it's my joy to cure it."

"Papa (God) has never needed evil to accomplish his good purposes. It is you humans who have embraced evil and Papa has responded with goodness."

"People are tenacious when it comes to the treasure of their imaginary independence. They hoard and hold their sickness with a firm grip. They find their identity and worth in their brokenness and guard it with every ounce of strength they have. No wonder grace has such little attraction. In that sense you have tried to lock the door of your heart from the inside."

-ouch, realization #243. I always have a guard up or an arms length of distance between me and the people around me. I don't necessarily see that as bad. It's definitely not good. Just something that I need help with.

"It is true that relationships are a whole lot messier than rules, but rules will never give you answers to the deep questions of the heart and they will never love you."

-i realized this the summer after 9th grade and the way it is said above is so perfect. This is why a relationship with Jesus is so much better than a religion. Only Jesus can know the depths of my heart and thoughts and meet me where I'm at. Religion can only try to control and confine me and my heart requires so much more than that.

This is my quote for coming to California....
"You can kiss your family and friends good-bye and put miles between you, but at the same time you carry them with you in your heart, your mind, your stomach, because you do not just live in a world but a world lives in you." -Frederick Buechner, Telling the Truth

Janie...

October is almost over...

I can't believe it. I've been here in Southern California for almost 5 months. Crazy.

On my last flight to Atlanta I sat next to a man named Al Jones. Al and I talked about EVERYTHING. I shared about my journey with Jesus, Elevate, my parents, San Diego, The Shack and about life in general and what I think about it so far. He works for At&t, married with 3 kids. He told me that I need to go back to school and that I was very wise. Haha. He must have met a different Maggie. It was the best plane ride ever.

So, the last few weekends we've been hanging out with some new friends. I love them all. They are very fun to be with and really make us laugh but at the same time I'm struggling with really letting myself have fun and accept them because I keep thinking about my boys back home and how I don't want anyone to replace them which is so silly because that can't happen but still I'm just being crazy. I'm so thankful for new friends and I'm regaining my lost social skills slowly but surely.

Janie, the pug, is officially home. She is black and so cute. She almost sleeps through the whole night, we are working on going potty outside and not biting. She is flippin adorable.

Also, I've really been trying to talk to Jesus and find the intimacy I've lost somewhere. Our first preview service is less than a month away. I'm SO glad it's here yet, I can't believe it's finally here. What a wild journey. God is going to use Elevate to rock Southern California. Pray the hearts of these people will be ready.

The Thoughts...

That keep me busy.
I believe that God made us all very different. Therefore, we are all different relationally. We interact differently, require different things and have different wants and needs. So how is your love for Christ measured? Is it measured by how much of a very devoted Bible reader you are? Or, does the person that passionately applies their knowledge of Christ to their life and uses it to impact those around him love Jesus more? Or is it the person that does both that really loves Jesus? Is it the amount of love, the greatness of our love, the way our love looks? What is it? How is our love for Christ measured? What about the really shallow people in the world? Since they never think past surface is that all they are held accountable for? Hmmm.... My friend Hannah wonders about this too so she confirmed that I'm not crazy. Or maybe I am. But that means Hanner and I can be crazy together. :)

Home

So, Thursday I got on a plane to Atlanta. Thanks to Lauren and Dave Mills. They gave me a buddy pass!! Love that crazy girl!! First thing I did when I got into Douglasville.... ATE! Fabiano's! So good for my heart. Then Will and I drove to Alabama and spent the night at my parent's house. Woke up the next morning and hugged my mom. It was so great. She made us waffles and then Will and I walked around Janney Furnace (the confederate memorial my new puppy is named after) with Princess. Friday night we had a fish fry. My whole family came. Hollie and Alan came, my grandparents, my cousins, my sister and BIL and nephews! Brittany came too. It was so great to be together with everyone. To eat, and goof off and have fun. Saturday morning Maw Maw Nunnelly made us breakfast. It was so good, as always. Then I got ready and Will and I headed to Habersham for my friend Stephanie's wedding. This is where it gets interesting, to make a long story short.... because of bad directions we missed the wedding and the GA/AL game. We were so lost. More lost than I've ever been. We drove for over four hours!! After the 4 hours of driving and not finding the wedding... we gave up. Not to mention GA has a gas crisis right now and there are hardly any gas stations with gas and the ones who do have gas have mile long lines of people down the streets waiting to fill their cars up! We headed home. Then Courtney came over and my best friend from elem and middle school, Brittany Blair! So great to see them! Sunday morning I got ready and went to Midway. On the way I got a speeding ticket. Actually in the church parking lot :) I was late. No excuse. Anyway the GSP had mercy on me and for that I'm grateful. I ran into those church doors and I..... cried. I was home. I was home, with my church family, with my worship team. My Hannah saved me a seat! So good for my heart. Then we went to El Ranchito. I got a text from Lauren saying it didn't look like I'd be getting home on Sunday night. I was so nervous I didn't eat Mexican. I had to get home. I couldn't miss any more work!! I was nervous and freaking out. Really? What right did I have, do I have? My Jesus has provided for my EVERY need AND want and I had the nerve to freak out and worry about having a seat on that plane. What an idiot. My Jesus loves me and provides for me even when I am the most undeserving spoiled brat 20 year old ever and I freaked out about getting home. Jesus had a seat on that plane for me the whole time and I questioned who he is. So, I had a pretty crazy weekend. I cried. But I learned too. About myself. About life. About my Savior. I have an incredible family, a wonderful boyfriend and some amazing friends! I have nothing to worry about, complain about or cry about. I'll be back for another great weekend in Douglasville/Alabama in 2 weeks for Jessica Vickers' wedding. yay!!

Saturday again...

I actually slept in today, for real. I woke up around 9 or 10. How nice. Well, last night we went to a show at Soma. We saw The Morning Light, The Secret Hand Shake, Phantom Planet (California, California, here we come, California), and The Rocket Summer. Only ever heard of Phantom Planet before but we had a lot of fun. Most of our crew went along with 5 new FRIENDS. You guessed it, we now have.... not one.... but five new friends! Praise Jesus for caring enough to send us San Diegans! haha. We had a lot of fun and ate Denny's afterwards (there are no Waffle Houses here). Today will probably be a lazy day. Bea is still sleeping, of course. :) We are trying to make our apartment cute. Our rooms are cute it's just the living and dining room that need help. So we bought a rug a couple nights ago and are looking to slowly invest by constantly checking out TJ Maxx, Ross, Marshalls, Big Lots, etc! yay. We won't look like Section 8 anymore!! In 2 weekends... I'll be home! Hooray! My friend Stephanie from college is getting married in Habersham so I'll go to that on Saturday and spend the rest of the time somewhere between Douglasville and Ohatchee :) I am so excited. I think I'm flying with a buddy pass which is stand-by. So pray that I can get on the flight! Holly (my boss) and I did yoga yesterday while the girls were napping. I have to say that it is really tough. It reminded me of cheerleading. There is so much you have to think about and focus on. I really want to make yoga a regular festivity!! Well, I think that's all for now. Have a great weekend. Muchlove

Brittany....

Brittany Bell is pregnant. I mean Brittany Hanes. Yep, found out yesterday! So, I'm gonna be "G Mags" as Brittany says her children will call me. This means I'll be hittin up the baby department of all the San Diego stores. Yay for them. I can't believe she will be a mother. How exciting!

Elevate Cook Out

Last night we had a cook out. We had a ton of great food, invited friends and co workers and Kevin shared why we're here and what we're doing. It went GREAT. We had several people to join our launch team and several people say they will definitely come to our first services! God is good. He is really up to something on the west coast and I'm so excited to be here and watch it all take place. I believe I am so lucky to be here at such a young age and experience so much life. Somewhere in the bible God talks about those who leave home and their families and the blessings he pours on them. That's not why I'm in this but it is an absolute plus! :) So, last night was wonderful! Thanks for praying! Holla

Confusion..

I need Jesus right now. Hard core.

Saturday...

My sleepin in day. Feels so good. However, I usually wake up at 7 or so and have to make myself go back to sleep. The girls went out last nite to California Pizza Kitchen for dinner and then we saw House Bunny. It was funny.... I won't lie. Will came to visit last week. He flew in on Wednesday night and flew out Thursday morning. It was nice having him here. On his last night here I exposed him to the farmer's market in OB. Ocean Beach is my favorite place in San Diego. There are a ton of burnout hippies, bums, surfers and laid back locals. I just love it. The farmer's market is in OB every Wednesday night. They have fresh fruits, veggies, nuts, food, clothing and accessories, and more. Not to mention live music, which can be very entertaining if the hippies come out and dance.

Elevate has found a potential meeting place. YAY! It is a theatre in the area we are looking to plant. So just pray that God would open and close doors when needed! Last week was also Jackson's birthday (my nanny kid) he turned 4 and we took him to SeaWorld. On the there I was able to share what Jesus has done in my life with Holly, my boss. It was so cool to just be able to share. Her boss is southern baptist who was atheist and I thought that was really cool too! Also, there is this guy in OB who works at Apogee. He started asking about our church and if we built it yet and I said no, but you gonna come when we do? haha. He said he didn't like church, he was raised catholic, he hated it growing up and it's not his thing. We explained to him that we were burnout too that's why we're starting a church so that the church can get back to the basics and away from the politics. He asked if we did confessionals and we said no and he said... ok, well just remind me and I'll be there!! I was so encouraged by that. You never know what God is up to!

In 6 weeks I'll be a mom! Nope, I'm not prego. But I'm getting a puppy. She is a 2 week old black pug. She has incredible looking parents and I really like the breeder. The breeder has an awesome story and I'm positive Jesus put me in her path for a reason! Anyway I got tired of not having any friends so I bought one, just like a sorority girl! haha I'm so pumped to bring her home! My baby cousin Karson wrote me a letter this week and she said she has a puppy named blueberry and she thought I might like to see it. I sure would love to see it and I want her to see mine too, but mine doesn't have a name yet. I love that little Karson.

Oh and I bought my plane ticket home for Christmas. So pumped about that. I would be devastated if I had to spend the Christmas in California. I arrive Christmas Eve Day at 6 am! YAY! Ok, guess that's all!

Reminders...

We all need reminders sometimes right? Like a list for the grocery store, a phone call, a post it on your mirror. Today Jesus reminded me that he has me here for a reason. I have days when I think to myself, "Why am I here? I have friends in GA, family in AL, why am I here in San Diego?" Well, I prayerfully lifted up every worry and concern months and months prior to moving my life to the west coast. I may question why Jesus has ME here right now but I do know that I am here for a reason because He has provided for me... from the big things to the smallest things. Elevate is striving to make the name of Jesus famous and I am very thankful to be a part of this team and to serve Jesus out here, making myself available to the things Jesus wants to accomplish in the lives of these beautiful yet hollow people. We attended The Flood this morning. It was great. The Pat Little Band led and the music was incredible. The speaker kept my attention the WHOLE time. Honestly....(This is the second time that I have been able to pay attention the whole time since we moved to San Diego!) God just reminded me of his love for me. His love that he would like for me to show these people. To wrap them up in it and embrace them. To address the hurt in their lives and let them know that I care but I hardly care compared to how much the Creator of this universe cares. :)

Let me tell you one more thing...
I have no friends in San Diego. I know... you're thinking, "Boo hoo, get over it." Well, I am an army brat. I made several moves during the course of my life and everywhere I went I made friends instantly. Friends that I keep in touch with to this day. So, being here 3 months now and not having a single friend is utterly DEPRESSING. haha. I am so thankful for my current friends that are now 2,000 miles away. I love them deeply and miss them terribly but I can't hang out with them here, or spend the night with them, or eat dinner with them! Unless, of course they come see me. HINT HINT. So what I'm trying to say is, I NEED FRIENDS. I have been desperately crying out to God for friends. Friends of all kinds. Maybe, you could pray for friends for me. haha. I think I know the problem... I am not in college. I am a nanny. I brought my only church family with me from Georgia. So I have no social scene to even potentially meet anyone. Not that my Elevate team is not good enough or we aren't friends, it would just be nice to have some friends from San Diego. I am looking into gettin plugged into a college community group with The Flood or with City Christian Church. Maybe that is the beginning of something... I sure hope so.

Now, that I have completely been transparent and made myself look like the biggest loser EVER I want to leave you with some verses that have been dear to my heart the past week.

Colossians 4:2-6
Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. And pray for us, too, that God may open a door for our message, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ, for which I am in chains. Pray that I may proclaim it clearly, as I should. Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.

Friday nights...

Back in the day I used to live for the weekends.... now the only thing good about the weekend is sleeping in on Saturday. I believe that one day the weekends will be fun and exciting again but they aren't there quite yet. Everyone was in LA tonight. I had to work today so I stayed in SD. I almost stayed at the complex but instead I went to Point Loma. Point Loma is my favorite place in San Diego. All it is is water, cliffs, and rocks. So there I was sitting on the edge of a cliff. Waves crashing, sun setting. Pretty perfect. (So basically weekends ARE good just different.) I've never been to Point Loma when there is a crowd, or tourists or people worried about worldly things. They surf, catch the sunset and chill. It is probably the most beautiful place I've ever seen and these people are so laid back and appreciative of the beauty yet they don't know who to thank. They take in everything around them with out acknowledging that their Creator is fighting for them and pursuing them daily. I don't understand how such a breath taking city can be so blinded to the things of Jesus. He wants us. He really does. He wants our overpacked schedules. Our weaknesses, strengths, talents, failures, time, praise. He wants it all. But what we have is completely enough. I have to remind myself of this everyday.

My job gets better every day. I know now that Holly appreciates and is pleased with the work I do for her. We have formed a friendship. I really enjoy it now. I mean I'd be lying if I said everyday is just peachy because with a 4 year old and 10 month old twin girls things are bound to get crazy at times :)

Speaking of kids. Taylor is the coolest 5th grader ever and Cade is holding it down in the 1st grade. I talked to them the other night and they just lit up my heart! Taylor asked me what colleges were in San Diego. He told me about his classes. His strong subjects and his weak subjects. He did impressions of my mom, his mom and Maw Maw. It was hilarious. Cade informed me he got a warning at school for playing in the hall. Not surprising. That child is always entertaining someone. :)

Alone time is good. Silence with Jesus is better. Beauty is all around you. Open your eyes. Love people like Jesus does. No matter how they smell, their status, color, or attitude. Everyone has a story. You could introduce them to the Hero their story needs....

SDPD

Yep, my first encounter with the law in California. Not pleasant. Friday morning I called my mom back while I was on my way to work. (She called me at 5 o clock CA time wantin to talk and I sleep til 6.) So, yeah, I called her back and as I'm driving I look in my rear view just to see 2 motorcycle cops. Lights and all. DANG. I thought, "Ok, I have an Alabama tag and a Georgia license, surely he will just warn me because I'm from the boonies." Nope, all he said was here is your citation, directions are on the back. DOO DOO on him. I was completely in the wrong so I'll take responsibility and take care of it-I just hope it isn't major. The main thing is the speed limit was 65 and would you believe I was going 65? The only thing he pulled me over for was my phone!! I will be purchasing a hands free device soon! Other than that it's been a great weekend. We had church on the beach this morning with our team and a mission team from SC and we're cookin out at the park tonight. I just laid out by the pool for a couple of hours to revamp my tan. It worked. Last night Susan's sister cooked us real mexican food and it was delicious. This week should be great. I'm very thankful for Washington Avenue Baptist and their willingness to come and serve San Diego with us :)

Almost August.

It is almost August. I'm not believing it. I'm ready for visitors again. I'm doing laundry right now and I just ate a grilled cheese for dinner with steamed carrots. I know, I'm gettin a little too crazy. I still like being out here, the weather, the roommate, Elevate, the job but I feel like I've lost myself. Not in a "I've lost myself and taken up the cross" kind of way....unfortunately. But in a blah kind of way. I think for some reason I am intimidated by the people of San Diego so I find myself being quiet and blending in. That is definitely NOT me. Maggie is loud, energetic and blunt. She stands out and makes new friends wherever she goes. I think I am intimidated by them because out of all the nationalities and ethnicities found in the heart of San Diego I, Maggie, feel like an alien..... because I follow Jesus. Jesus lovers are pretty unheard of around here. I know, you're thinking... "Duh, Maggie! Isn't that why you moved to San Diego? To church plant? To share with them what you have already found? You knew SD was lost!" Yes, your thoughts are right. For some reason I'm just digesting it and experiencing it in a new way. I think I know the solution though... I need to run harder and faster to Jesus and live a life worthy of the calling. To find who I am in Christ. To find who he wants me to be tomorrow. Certainly he desires to see change in me and for me to become more like him and not look like the girl I was yesterday. Ephesians 4:1-2 says, "As a prisoner of the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love." This is BIG. This means not losing sight of purpose. Not losing sight of the kingdom. Not losing sight of the gift of life! I also have to remember that Jesus is attractive. There is nothing I have to do to "sell him". He is almighty, the Healer and Redeemer. If San Diego sees Jesus in me; the love, the kindness, the youthfulness, then they will probably be drawn to me and the Jesus in me.

Here is a list of what I miss: (in no particular order)
1. My best friend. It is hard to do life with out her. No, we are not one but we seriously share a brain and heart so I am missing two vital body parts w/o her here. I need to have some serious fun and they only person I can do that with is Cora Brittany Bell Hanes.
2. My nephews. Taylor and Cade. I have loved those boys more than life the minute they came into this world. I constantly think about them and it is killing me not being an hour down I20 from them. I'm their aunt that has always been there and I hate that I am missing them so bad right now.
3. My boyfriend. It is so hard communicating when all of America is in between us. I would kill to go on a date this weekend. Since all of this change in my life he has also become my best friend and it is hard not having him here just to hang out.
4. My Paw-Paw. I saw my Paw-Paw and Mrs. Palmer pretty regularly in good ole Oxford, AL. We would chit chat, walk around the garden, eat a little something and pray together. I miss that quality time.
5. Zaxby's, Fabiano's, Logan's, O'Charley's. I miss good food. Enough said.
6.The Bell Motel. Chaos, people, love, friendships, Cora's cooking. I miss that family and that house. That house is home to so many people including me.
7. My parents and Maw-Maw. I miss seeing them, hanging out and being together.
8. Midway. My small group. I miss my church family and I miss my girls. They continually bless my heart and for that I am thankful. They are doing incredible things for the Lord and really blossoming into the ladies Jesus intends for them to be. I miss being there with them, struggling when they struggle, hurting when they hurt, and praying with them.
9. Hannah J. I can't wait until she gets here. San Diego is not complete w/o her in it. She understands me and encourages me and I need her bluntness in my life.
10. Ryder Hanes. I miss seeing that baby everyday and rejoicing in all of the new things he learns. I miss getting him to sleep, feeding him, taking him outside and just hanging out.

ok. so pretty much everything.

Provision

God's provision is best. By far. I spoke for months before moving to California about how I believed that my Jesus would provide for me and he has completely provided for me... plus some. So, it's been a minute since my last post. You wanna know why? Will came for a surprise visit! yep! He told me last Tuesday that he needed to be picked up Thursday and he stayed for a week! To keep it simple, Will fell in love........with San Diego. God has really been working in his heart since he stepped onto California soil. We had a lot of fun and I took him to some really cool places. I miss him now but I have a feeling he'll be back ;) My dear friend Brian flew in yesterday and will stay through out next week. He moved to Oklahoma to serve at LifeChurch so we haven't hung out in a while. Brian is just one of those friends that knows my heart and encourages me to chase my Jesus. I love him like a brother and I'm so thankful Jesus made us friends :) I think tonight we are going to watch the ATLANTA Braves play some ball and get a little taste of home. My job is going well and I'm starting to feel comfortable in their home. This post is so random but it is a pure picture of my brain, HA. My family has been so precious since I left home. I regularly receive letters in the mail (which I LOVE) and cry almost every time I open one. It is a weired sadness. I miss them and I think that is why I shed a couple tears. Also, my Jesus has provided encouragement for me in the coolest ways. Last night me, Brian and Bea met a couple in Torrey Hills. Andy is a Lieutenant for SDPD and Cathy works at Nordstrom. They have three girls and we really enjoyed chatting with them. Their hearts were so big and they seemed interested in helping Elevate. I know for sure that God wants me here. It is a wonderful feeling. I know I'm supposed to be here. I don't know exactly how God will use me but I'm ready to find out. The Lord is gracious and slow to anger, abounding in love, he is. I'm so glad I took this risk and that I will have amazing stories about the Lord to tell my children one day! So, I guess that is what is going on in my life. One more huge praise... broken relationships in my family have been mended. Sadly, it took the death of Corey for hearts to be softened and wounds to be healed. I am so thankful for the reunion of those families!! Holla back. Muchlove!

Woo Hoo..

I got a job! Yay! I am now employed by Holly and Tim Ross. I will be their nanny for their 9 month old twin girls and their soon-to-be 4 year old son. I will make enough money to more than survive. One of my concerns coming out here was acquiring debt because of the extremely high cost of living. BUT my Jesus loves me and even cares about the quirky little details of my life. So, I will now be able to continue saving my money, which makes me extremely happy! I will be working from 7:30-3:30, Mon-Fri. Oh yeah, I actually interviewed with Holly this morning and started work today. Another plus!! Thank you for praying for me and my search for a job. God is good and he always provides how he sees fit and that makes me so grateful to be a daughter of God. The end.

Well.....

I have been in San Diego almost two weeks. My main concern is still a job. I had two interviews this week. I interviewed with a family Wednesday night that I liked a lot. I stayed over there for an hour and a half!! I basically shared my testimony and what Jesus has done for me in her living room. Coolest interview I've ever had. Then Thursday I interviewed with a family and it's a no-go for sure. Let's just say they were different. And when Maggie says different... you know they really were. Both families said they would get back to me by early next week. I am still trusting that the Lord will provide me with a great job and that he will provide financially.

Midway....
Midway started something called change for change and decided to help Elevate the first month. There were empty water jugs (the ones you get refilled and put in your home so you can have a cup of purified water whenever) all over the church and Chad (the creative pastor) asked Midway to use their spare change for change in San Diego. He intended us to use the money saved for gas to make the move to California. He was hoping for $1000 and the church raised well over that!! It cost me over $300 to get from Douglasville, GA to San Diego, CA! I received a check from change for change for over $300. God provides. His plan was in place before I could even imagine how many times I would be stopping for gas and how much it would cost!!! AND... the hotels me and mom stayed at along the way cut us a deal both nights because things were so slow. How incredible. Deuteronomy 31:8 says," The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." :)

Corey...
My "summer after 4th grade" boyfriend was killed in a car accident earlier this week. He is actually Zack's (my brother-in-law's) cousin. I know... how Alabama. Anyway, just pray for his family and friends during this time. He just turned 20 in March. So young. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 says, "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God."

I'm finally here...

It's finally here. I arrived in San Diego last Monday around 2 or 3 o clock. Mom took a flight out early on Thursday morning. While she was here we unpacked, arranged my room, ran errands, went to the grocery store and I also took her to my favorite spots in San Diego which I think she loved too. When you come visit me you can be certain that I will take you to Balboa Park. It is beautiful. I am now looking for a job. I really really want to nanny and hopefully that will work out. We got internet installed this morning so I spent some time on craigslists replying to nanny posts. I have to continually repeat to myself that Jesus will provide perfectly in his timing because doubt creeps up on me out of no where! A few situations have left my heart heavy lately which has had me repeatedly running to Jesus, which is good. It is hard being in a new place and around a bunch of people who don't really "get" me. Ya know what I mean? Like today I just needed to talk to Will about a few things and he didn't have any answers for me but he simply said, "I understand, I know how you feel." That was wonderful. It feels so good for him to just "get" me and know me and still like me. My friend Hannah says, "I think we should all just be who we are.... and never be ashamed." I'm so down with that. It is so refreshing to have people celebrate who you are rather than focus on your flaws. I miss her. A lot. We share a brain or a heart.... kindred spirits. Well, I realize more and more everyday that this is THE craziest thing I have ever done and I'm totally ok with it. I started re-reading In a Pit With a Lion on a Snowy Day by Mark Batterson. It is an incredible book and I highly recommend that you atleast read the first chapter. It will change your life or atleast your outlook. Jesus is good. That sounds so cliche but man, is it true. Much love, holla back.

Arizona..

Well, the time has come. I left Douglasville Saturday morning and headed to Oxford to pick up my mom where we started on our journey to San Diego. Last week was so hard. I had to say good-bye to my family in Douglasville, my small group girls, my church, my best friend and friends and my precious boyfriend. Yesterday however, was the hardest day of all. I cried from Georgia to Alabama, to Mississippi, to Louisiana to Texas. Someone told me.."Once you get on the road you'll be fine." So by the time we landed in Abeline, Texas last night and I was still crying I was feeling like a crazy lady. I missed that boy before I even left his road. I cried and cried and cried. All the while he was being my superman. He continually told me that it will be ok, that God has something for me there, that I have to go and figure it all out, that it will make us stronger and that no matter what I do he will support me in and he's behind me through it all. I'm not worried about what will happen to us, I'm just missing his touch and his face and his smile and laugh and kiss. It is incredibly hard to leave my love and best friend at home. Today I have repeatedly reminded myself that my Jesus will take care of me and that he has big plans. My friend Jenny from Midway told me Wednesday that the Lord blesses those that leave home to do what God has called them to. I hope that I can help people discover the blessings the Lord has already given them in San Diego. Please pray for me as my heart breaks from missing home, my best friend, my family, church and boyfriend. My Jesus says, "Draw near to me and I will draw near to you." James 4:8. Hallelujah!

I have about 3 weeks til departure. San Diego here I come. That phrase makes my body go crazy. All at once I feel 24.5 different emotions. If you know me you know that when I do something.. I am extremely passionate about it. When I care.. I care DEEPLY. When I love.. I love HARD. Which brings me to Will. My sweet boyfriend. I have become extremely attached to him and who he is becoming. "What are you and Will going to do when you move?" I get asked that question all the time. In my head I think to myself.... If I am uprooting and moving across the US and trusting Jesus to provide for me and trusting that I will find a job to pay for the outrageously high rent and trusting that people will want to support me. Then I will probably just continue to trust the Lord. I will trust his timing and placement. When my oldest sister, Paige, lived in Alabama while we were living in Texas my mom said, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder." I'll let you know if that statement is still true ;) My sister, Hollie, encouraged me to start blogging so people could follow where I'm at on this journey. So here it goes.

Oh yeah, Hollie & Alan... Thanks for always encouraging me and celebrating who I am and who Christ is in me. I always feel uplifted after I hang out with ya'll. I love you guys dearly and I'm so thankful to have you guys in my family.