Just talked to one of my small group girls. It is so hard for me to be here when one of my girls is having a hard time. I miss Midway so bad most of the time. Midway is real. My church family. I wish that I could be there for my girls. I wish I could be there to encourage them, pray for them, listen to them, love them and watch them grow. Another great thing about that group is that there was never a Wednesday night that I wasn't blessed by them. God used them in my life as a source of encouragement and blessing.
My heart. Man, it hurts. I have been privileged to have all of my issues pointed out to me like I don't already know them. I am completely aware of my issues, have admitted them and I work on them. I'm only 20 years old and have already dealt with a lot and I think I'm doing pretty good so far. Not that I'm anywhere close to perfect or normal for that fact but at least there's progress. Needless to say I miss my encouragers. I miss Marie, Mama Beck, Brian, my sm group of girls, my church family, Sapp, and so many more. I wish I had someone here who actually got me, or thinks like me or understands me or maybe cares about me. I devoted my life to see the vision of Elevate pan out and to see God move in this city. At the same time I'm only 20 and have never done anything like this before and I'm facing things I've never faced. I'm doing the best I can, I'm seeking Jesus despite popular belief, and I'm certain that the last thing I need is a discourager.
One of my greatest friends told me something along the lines of this tonight,"Maybe, God just needs to break you. He wants our brokenness and works in it." So here I am in my brokenness. I am only my Jesus' and only want to be used by him, only want to be enlightened by him. I desire growth and knowledge and freedom and love. All that needs to happen now is for me to accept it. God is good to me. So good. My provider, my secret keeper, my best friend, Almighty, never changing, loving, forgiving, just, faithful.........
And Hollie, thank you for always encouraging me. You are a great sister.
3 comments:
you melted my heart maggie. keep them knees on the floor and them eyes sky high. love you..
Who do I need to beat up now?
maggie,
this just made me cry.(not that i don't do that all the time)but it really broke my heart.i miss so much and need you more than ever. but i am proud of you and your always in my prayers. i love you so much hope you have a good week :)
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