Almost August.

It is almost August. I'm not believing it. I'm ready for visitors again. I'm doing laundry right now and I just ate a grilled cheese for dinner with steamed carrots. I know, I'm gettin a little too crazy. I still like being out here, the weather, the roommate, Elevate, the job but I feel like I've lost myself. Not in a "I've lost myself and taken up the cross" kind of way....unfortunately. But in a blah kind of way. I think for some reason I am intimidated by the people of San Diego so I find myself being quiet and blending in. That is definitely NOT me. Maggie is loud, energetic and blunt. She stands out and makes new friends wherever she goes. I think I am intimidated by them because out of all the nationalities and ethnicities found in the heart of San Diego I, Maggie, feel like an alien..... because I follow Jesus. Jesus lovers are pretty unheard of around here. I know, you're thinking... "Duh, Maggie! Isn't that why you moved to San Diego? To church plant? To share with them what you have already found? You knew SD was lost!" Yes, your thoughts are right. For some reason I'm just digesting it and experiencing it in a new way. I think I know the solution though... I need to run harder and faster to Jesus and live a life worthy of the calling. To find who I am in Christ. To find who he wants me to be tomorrow. Certainly he desires to see change in me and for me to become more like him and not look like the girl I was yesterday. Ephesians 4:1-2 says, "As a prisoner of the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love." This is BIG. This means not losing sight of purpose. Not losing sight of the kingdom. Not losing sight of the gift of life! I also have to remember that Jesus is attractive. There is nothing I have to do to "sell him". He is almighty, the Healer and Redeemer. If San Diego sees Jesus in me; the love, the kindness, the youthfulness, then they will probably be drawn to me and the Jesus in me.

Here is a list of what I miss: (in no particular order)
1. My best friend. It is hard to do life with out her. No, we are not one but we seriously share a brain and heart so I am missing two vital body parts w/o her here. I need to have some serious fun and they only person I can do that with is Cora Brittany Bell Hanes.
2. My nephews. Taylor and Cade. I have loved those boys more than life the minute they came into this world. I constantly think about them and it is killing me not being an hour down I20 from them. I'm their aunt that has always been there and I hate that I am missing them so bad right now.
3. My boyfriend. It is so hard communicating when all of America is in between us. I would kill to go on a date this weekend. Since all of this change in my life he has also become my best friend and it is hard not having him here just to hang out.
4. My Paw-Paw. I saw my Paw-Paw and Mrs. Palmer pretty regularly in good ole Oxford, AL. We would chit chat, walk around the garden, eat a little something and pray together. I miss that quality time.
5. Zaxby's, Fabiano's, Logan's, O'Charley's. I miss good food. Enough said.
6.The Bell Motel. Chaos, people, love, friendships, Cora's cooking. I miss that family and that house. That house is home to so many people including me.
7. My parents and Maw-Maw. I miss seeing them, hanging out and being together.
8. Midway. My small group. I miss my church family and I miss my girls. They continually bless my heart and for that I am thankful. They are doing incredible things for the Lord and really blossoming into the ladies Jesus intends for them to be. I miss being there with them, struggling when they struggle, hurting when they hurt, and praying with them.
9. Hannah J. I can't wait until she gets here. San Diego is not complete w/o her in it. She understands me and encourages me and I need her bluntness in my life.
10. Ryder Hanes. I miss seeing that baby everyday and rejoicing in all of the new things he learns. I miss getting him to sleep, feeding him, taking him outside and just hanging out.

ok. so pretty much everything.