Fear...

I have a fear that has been consuming a lot of my thinking time lately. What do I fear you ask? Well, you see, Californians are weird. I've probably said it before but it is so true. I can't explain it to where you could totally comprehend but I will try. They have these weird boundaries. In the south we don't have boundaries ya know? Personal space? Whatev... we just love each other and get up in each other's business. Here in San Diego, you better be careful. It is very easy to find yourself being called "inappropriate".  Also, people out here don't know anything about their friends really. They just coexist and hang out. They never have real talks or get real with one another. STRANGE. Also, "mentors" don't really exist out here either. I go to Flood church on Sunday nights and I get the vibe that all it is is a bunch of college aged kids sharing their theories and calling it biblical truth. There are no older couples with all that life wisdom and experience willing to invest in my generation. Ok, so I'm being drama. I'm sure there are those older couples somewhere... I just haven't found them. Basically, I need "mom" figures in my life to put me in my place when I get all out of line and crazy ya know?! One last thing I've noticed is.... boys don't want to be your friend then date you. They want to date you right away. Lame. Everyone knows that does not flow with Maggie. I have always been friends with my boys before dating them and I wouldn't have it any other way! Friendship is golden. 

So, I rambled on about that to say.... I am so scared that when I move home..... I too will be weird. I am afraid that all of this nonsense will rub off on m

e. I say all the time that I want to marry a southern boy but heck, if I come home all californianized and strange all the southern boys will be like, "What happened to Maggie? She moved to California and got all weird on us." Then I will die a flippin virgin because I'll be the weird girl from California who no one wants to marry.  I just know that when I move home and hang out with everyone they will all leave and talk about how strange I am now. I know how I feel about Californians and I don't ever want anyone to say those things about me. 

I like California. Don't take this the wrong way. I just have some concerns. If I didn't like it here, I'd pack up and head east. I have a great job and good friends, weird, but good. I love my roommate and will cry hard if she really does move to Italy in six months. This city is huge and the opportunities are endless. One of my closest guy friends told me when he came to visit last July that I wasn't here for Elevate but that God had something different for me. I'm anxious to discover what that is. 

So I got some bangs. My hairdresser tried talking me into them in January. I was too chicken. So I found some bravery laying around my condo and did it. Some days I like them. They are fun and spunky. Other days I feel like Cher or I feel like I should be singing,"Pharaoh, Pharaoh, Oh baby, let my people go! HUH! yeah yeah yeah." haha. Tomorrow I'm having a little purple put in them. Shall be quite fun as well.