That's what the thoughts in my brain sound like. I haven't completed a thought or idea since September. Before I start rambling on about 18 different things let me say that Hank weighed 17lbs 6 ounces yesterday.
Okay, so here is the real deal...
Over the course of some amount of time I don't know, I have let sin slip into my heart and basically rent every available space. I could blame this on small town living, post partum brain, or negative people in my life that I swear think they exist to create stress at the green house. However, I choose this day to take responsibility.
I choose this day to bid Facebook farewell.
I choose this day to start making better food choices.
I choose this day to start moving my body again.
I choose this day to speak positive words.
I choose this day to make greater efforts to send love to my closest friends that mainly live the farthest away.
I choose to do all of these things to make room for more of these things:
The Word
Will
Hank
Laundry
Dinner
Positive thoughts
Originality
Things are way out of hand and I'm embarrassed I let them get this way. I am so undeserving of a husband who has loved me despite the darkness in my heart. I am thankful for friends who continue to stand by me, cheering me on when I'm walking in circles babbling about things that don't matter in the grand scheme. I'm thankful for a woman who is older and wiser that is choosing to lift me up, guide me along this new road of motherhood. Mostly though, I'm forever indebted to Jesus. He can make me new every single day and boy do I need that. He loves me when I'm too ashamed to pray His holy name. He calls me his own when no one else in the entire world would identify me as a Christ follower. Time to kick it in high gear and be who I'm called to be to the people I'm called to serve.
1 comment:
Hey Maggie,
I admire your courage and your desire to achieve the high level of living God has planned for you. I know that I too feel the weight of my failings, and the sorrow of unreached expectations.
Every person has to confront at certain times their own struggles. It is at that moment that we can choose to cover up our weaknesses and pretend, or let the light shine in so that we can see and get better. I think your post falls in the latter category. I am thankful for your inspiring post; and for a God who does not snuff out the smoldering wick, but instead helps it to blaze forth even brighter. Thanks Maggie,
Keep fighting,
and
Keep writing,
G4
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