What do you want to be when you grow up?
My whole life I have dreamed of being a wife and stay at home mom. However, I'm still feeling the pressure of school. I have no earthly clue what I would work towards if I did go back. If I went back I might as well start over because in my 1 year at West Ga I probably only really attended 2 classes. Yikes. If I go back it will take me 42 years. I made the decision to quit school and I also made the decision to move to Cali. I'm totally fine with those decisions but they have led me to a place where I pay on my own. So it really would take 42 years to get anything done while working, paying rent in SD and taking a few classes(and keeping my sanity). Being grown is so much fun. Basically, I have no idea what my future should look like. I don't know what is best. I do know that the desire to go to school still isn't there. The culture here and the economy are the main reasons I even flirt with the ideas. Brittany and I always talk about how we would LOVE to be nurses but you can count us both out of biology. We would just like to be trained. Learn hands on. Like the old days, you'd just be someone's apprentice and ta-da... good to go. Yes, I know, you don't want a "learner" starting your IV. I get it.
When it all comes down to it.... I just want to have a lot of good stories to tell. Like the time I was 20 years old and left my small town for a dream bigger than any dream I've ever had. In Donald Miller's, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, he says this...
"And that's the thing you'll realize when you organize your life into the structure of story. You'll get a taste for one story and then want another, and then another and the stories will build until you're living a kind of epic of risk and reward, and the whole thing will be molding you into the actual character whose roles you've been playing. And once you live a good story, you get a taste for a kind of meaning in life, and you can't go back to being normal; you can't go back to meaningless scenes stitched together by the forgettable thread of wasted time. The more practice stories I lived, the more I wanted an epic to climb inside of and see through till its end."
Leaving my family, best friend, boyfriend, soul food, dirt roads, and my small town life behind for a dream we call Elevate in San Diego has been a great story so far. However, I don't ever want to get comfortable. I want more. I want my stories to get better and better. I want to learn selflessness and live it. Don is right, I can't go back to normal. I can't go back to ordinary. My heart will never settle there. I long for more. Honestly, I couldn't give you an example of what I could do next that would be satisfying to my soul. A few years ago I couldn't have told you that I would love to plant a church in SD but when the opportunity arose I knew that is what God wanted for me and I knew that is what I wanted for me. I'm sure that God has whatever is next for me already planned out but because I am clueless I sit around on Saturdays hashing it out on here.
Get out of your comfy life, live a story worth retelling for years to come. A story that impacts the people and the world around you. Jesus came to serve and not be served, take up your cross, follow him. Whatever that looks like to you. Amen and amen.
1 comment:
I love this post :) It's funny how much of myself I find while reading your posts. I pray you find a wonderful place to live or have since you've posted that one.
Post a Comment