February

SIXTH, two thousand & 10.

Slept in until 8 today. Which means I beat my record of 7:40 :)

Caught up on my Thursday night show. (still in bed)

Janie is curled up next to me.

Now it is 9:30.

I'm telling you what... I get my money's worth when it comes to this furry, little. black dog curled up next to me...snoring. I bought her to do the very thing she is doing now. Worth every penny. I don't like an empty bed. Brittany Bell Hanes and I shared a bed for years. and LOVED it. Or at least I did. When Brittany and I split she went straight to a bed with Adam. Not I, I went to California, where I didn't know anyone that I could ask to have a spend the night party with me. So, I bought Janie and we both sleep like rocks.

Lately, I have been doing a lot of thinking back on the past year. If you've been keeping up with me for awhile you probably know that last year was not easy for me. I endured a lot in my personal life. I went through things I never fathomed I'd face. I had never ever felt so distant from God. I'd talk. I'd listen. Nothing. It was pure misery. I know that God didn't dip out on me but it sure felt like it. That did a number on my relationship with Christ. Therefore, a lot of my relationships on planet Earth suffered. Looking back, however, I am very glad I went through those things and even happier that I survived. Yes, I am embarrassed about the way I handled some situations. But guess what, I had never been through anything like those situations so I tried to smile and did the best I knew how. That is good enough for me. I have learned so much. God has taught me and grown me up. I now know the way I would have preferred to act but -no looking back for me- I'm pressing on, learning from it and possessing a new attitude. Every time I open my Bible these days all I see on every page is love, love, love and more love. Not surprising right? I mean God did give us Jesus because He loves us and Jesus did die and conquer the grave because He loves us. For whatever reason that is what Jesus has been speaking to my heart. When it comes to putting the words I've been reading into action this is what I've started with... I know what makes me feel loved, I know how I liked to be loved so I'm starting there. I'm loving people like I like to be loved. I understand that my love language is not the same as yours or Bobby Sue. But hey, I'll get there.... Looking back on the last year there were certain individuals in my life that didn't give up on my. They listened to my negativity, they let me cry. They told me that it would be alright. They never lost hope in me. They saw the good in me. Thank you. Thank you mother, thank you sisters, thank you bfoh, thank you friends. I will always remember that time in my life and smile because of the true love that you showed me. Through all of the junk I know now that no matter how someone treats me, no matter what words they use to tear me to pieces, no matter how bad they screw me over, no matter how wrong they are..... I, Maggie Nunnelly, want to love them. I want to treat them with ginormous integrity. I want to act and react in a respectable way at all times. I want people to know that no matter what is done to me that they won't hear a harsh word out of my mouth and at the end of the day I will still be standing there with my dignity.

I am aware that this will take a LOT of work on my part. A LOT of prayer and self control. However, this is what I want and goodness gracious... I'm doing it!

I cherish what I have with Jesus so much more now. The intimacy is much more precious to me. Thank you Jesus for loving me. Thank you for not giving up on me. All I want is you. The end.