Be careful

Or you'll miss it. Miss what? The blessings of Jesus.

Maybe this is you. Maybe it's not. It is for sure me though...

Hank will be 4 months old in a week. Where does time go? I feel like I was maybe...okay really, in a fog during my 4th trimester. I was deeply in love with my infant son and most of the time I was liking Will (I always love him, have you met him? It's impossible to not). However, because of Hank's tongue tie, mastitis early on, and not having a full nights rest since I was 5 mos pregnant I was vulnerable. That is the best word I can find to describe where I've been. I was hyper sensitive to all the comments, advice, and unnamed folks barging in my home unannounced (do not ever visit a new mother and baby with out warning... I have talked to a lot of folks and they agree that this is the worst!). While in this fog I also let the negativity of certain people just drag me on down with them. I am sure this is a result of time away from church and my personal time with Jesus. There are certain folks I just wish I could steer clear of but for whatever reason The Lord thinks I have a lesson (or lessons) to learn from the difficulties that come with certain lovelies. One is self control. Still working on it...

Today in Sunday school we talked about beauty (among other things). What does it look like? We all agreed that it looks like confidence. A woman is also found beautiful in the midst or the aftermath of a storm when they have not let bitterness take root but instead have let Jesus be Jesus in their lives. That is what I want. No matter how much negativity surrounds me I want to shine. I want to be confident as a new mother. Confident in my decisions because they are rooted in Him. I want to be able to encourage and love others where THEY are and not where I THINK they need to be. I want to look in my enemies' eyes and smile. I want to be slow to speak and slow to anger. I want to be the most supportive wife, the most selfless mother, the most honest and uplifting friend, a thoughtful daughter, a faithful sister, and the most devoted believer.

So with the new year in full swing and my birthday 3 days away I say out with the old and in with the new. Detoxify. Modify. Less of me and more of Him. Waste not, want not (time on Facebook, perhaps?). Positive words and positive actions.


Last but certainly not least... I am sorry to the ones I love most. Sorry you had to go through the fog with me. Thank you for loving me through it. I apologize for the ugly words and ugly attitude. This world has nothing for me.